Can't believe I'll be ranting here again, but hey I have nothing to lose now --- and I simply want to share my story.

I had a year long relationship with a girl whom I dearly loved. It was great— well at least we started out pretty fine. To give you a background, my family's financial situation is just average and just enough to provide me and my siblings with our necessities and a little bit of luxury, but her family was loaded and had a lot of power.

1 year and 2 months, that's how long our relationship lasted. All through out that time, we were full of ups and downs, mainly because it was her first relationship and there's a lot of hiccups that we had to overcome. She would nag about how I walk, talk, and even post on social media. Then she became manipulative, as to which my friends started to notice the change in my behaviour and tried to warn me (of course I didn't listen to them because I was head over heels over her).

Anyways, she would have this trait of passive aggression whenever I do something that she doesn't approve of, e.g. falling asleep all of a sudden after a long day at school and not being able to update her about it, etc.

I would confront her about her behaviour and how some of her beliefs that she picked up from fantasy books are really far from real life, but she would just end up sulking or turning the tables on me—and it got to the point where she would physically hurt me.

It took me a while, but at some point I was able to muster up my courage and end things with her. Of course she spammed me with messages, begging me to come back, telling me that she'll change, and all of that stuff.

I loved her, I know what she was capable of becoming even if she doesn't realize it, and even if I don't want to, I left her. I knew that I had to let her go through that so she can begin to realize the loop that we were in, hoping that she would grow better as a person.

Her last message 2 months ago was her being open and learning, waiting for me with her hearts closed for others.

Now, knowing how much I deared and loved her, it was inevitable for me to miss her and long for her. I became alcoholic, went to parties, went out with other girls (just casual lunch or coffee dates), until one night I couldn't stand it and I broke no contact.

We talked. At this time, it was already 3 months after the break up, and a month since her last message. I asked her if we could grab a coffee and have a chat face to face, I thought she had changed, but guess what? Nope, I was damned wrong.

She pressured me, knowing that I can't go out at 2am, she told me it's either I go out for that coffee with her now or never. When I asked her if we could have it later afternoon, she brought up a guy that apparently she met and is a lot better than I am. She would keep on bragging about the guy's sports car, about his family connections to her family, and of course, how he can always go to her whenever she asks to do so and I can't.

It felt as if she was using him as a weapon to hurt me, to push me, maybe some sort of revenge? I don't know.

Thing is, I have no problem with her having a new guy, but fuck it. The thought of how she expressed him and how she just seemingly let go of what we had for a guy who had money and connections... it fucking hurts.

Call me a jerk, I know. I was the one who broke up with her and I know that I don't have the right to feel like this, but it hurts....

We ended up meeting the day after (she even mentioned to me that she had to get the permission of the guy before meeting up with me lol, initially she wanted to take him with us).
Long story short, she told me how much she still loves me and all, but it'd be unfair for the guy and that it wouldn't work out because of her parents and his parents. How he was there when I wasn't.

God I just wish she really saw the whole reason why I had to leave, that she wasn't just the only one in pain (oh suis-moi I know that you know, but forgive me I just really need this rant).

It hurts, that after we met up, she boldly mentioned to me that she would go run to the arms of that guy. It fucking hurts.

This is a mess, as I am writing this just as I got back home. I hope any one who made it to the end would be able to understand even just a fraction of this rant from me. I'm weak right now, but that means that I can only get stronger.

I know my faults, so please be gentle with me. Thanks Reddit for this platform.

TL;DR
NEVER BREAK NO CONTACT, AND KNOW YOUR WORTH.