I’ve been in here encouraging people to try again when they had the chance. Or reach out if it was a hopeful situation. The ex id dreamed about and missed for a year came back. The first three months were a dream. We had made positive changes as humans and as partners. I was so happy. We were both so certain of our future together that one day he slept over and then just stopped leaving…. And then he never helped with bills… and then I (having promised myself to go easy on substances and liquor), finally saw how he was under the influence. I was always right there with him. I never realized he would become violent. Or creepy (I told him I was upset over people in his friends group touching me inappropriately and he defended it rather than comforting me). I watched him encourage his friend to r*pe a sleeping girl. When I flipped out on them, her boyfriend said it was “ok because she’s into CNC”. And I said that doesn’t apply to strangers. It was disturbing. This whole conversation derailed into a violent fight between my partner, his bestie, and his brother. And then more drinking. Vomiting. We’re all on our 30s. I had the blinders on for two years about him. I finally woke up. I feel Bad because it’s his birthday weekend so I’m still letting him celebrate here (my house). I’m taking him home Monday. I broke up with him last night (I meant to wait, and have a calm, mature conversation) but we got into a fight. I was on my phone between sets at the gym and he got angry and I flipped and it all spilled out. I need therapy and so does he. This is so disappointing.