I think the thing that makes this breakup both manageable and yet so hurtful is where I was at in the relationship. I had a ring on the way, and was going to propose in a month. Her best friend even helped me pick out the ring. 2 years into our relationship I finished grad school and we moved halfway across the country because I got a great job, and her family was there, it was an easy decision to make. And considering I have great bonds with my friend and I tend to play online with them, we were happy.

Last August she got a new job, nothing incredible as far as pay, an environmental conservation job, but she was really happy she got it, and so was I, we didnt really need money anyways, we lived pretty reasonably. She had 2 coworkers. One was (and still is) a prick, and the other she became friends with.

We broke up 2 days ago. The thing she said to me was she now has feelings for her coworker and now friend, and it's something she has been putting aside for weeks now because she is faithful and valued our relationship. My ex and I didnt share more than a few hobbies, and we liked to just relax after work and watch shows. I was still interested in her hobbies. I liked to ask questions and keep up with her, but I didnt play things like DnD, and I dont smoke weed, etc. This guy just has all the same interests.

It's not like I would have stopped her from being friends, she's always more than welcome to have friends with different interests and hobbies, she's not forced to do everything with me. But I just feel like I've been replaced in a few months, when I've been as supportive and steadfast as I can be.

She didnt have a great upbringing, actually it was pretty rough. But she stuck through it, got her degree, etc. We met in college, and just hanging out, talking, and being supportive of eachother was so helpful. I know I didnt share too many hobbies with her, but our interests lined up, and just having a rock in my life was so valuable, and I think it was to her as well.

She had 2 surgeries, a really bad fight with lyme disease, friendships end, financial issues that still arent resolved (she cant open a bank account), family deaths, family troubles, a niece that still borders on suicide. There's so much I've been there for, supported her through, valued her for. And she picked this guy over me.

I think what hurts most is that I left my friends and family behind because I had her as my rock. I was happy and comfortable with her and her family and family friends where we moved. I have nothing now. My job is great, I'm a teacher and the community and kids I work with really do bring me fulfillment. But I'm alone here, stuck in an apartment we can't get out of until the end of July.

And there's just so many questions now. So much I wish I had been given the opportunity to fix and improve. If all it took was maybe joining a weekly game of DnD, joining her monthly bread making with family friends, etc, I would have, and I would have enjoyed it. And maybe that's just me knowing that I regret not doing so, maybe I undervalued her and that's why I'm here now.

I'm stuck for 3 months. I have to finish out my job, and I hate the thought that she has someone else lined up, her family here, her friends here, and I just have my job. I feel replaced, left to be like a toy put into storage. I've already deleted all of my connections to her. Social, pictures, etc. I dont want to start again with dating. So many inside jokes, references, quips lost forever. The next person wont know them. And the slog of dating again. I hate the thought of being another guy in the dating app meat grinder. I'm decently attractive, I have my confidence, I'm social. But to do it all again, I just wanna be 4 year into my forever relationship again.

Feel free to probe, I'm happy to answer questions for my own therapeutic benefit.