i think it's time. i (34m) think i have hit my limit with my gf (35f) of 8ish years. there's something about the disagreement we are having now, the inability to validate me or my experience/feelings plus the constant competitive comparisons between us and just the lack of love. i tried my best to appeal to something restorative or reparative last night, and for years, and it always just dissolves into pettiness. it is impossible for her to take ownership of wrongdoing.

i realized last night there is no way this will be a clean breakup and it scared me. she also said some stuff that was downright scary which made me feel like if she is put between a rock and a hard place she will do whatever it takes to come out unscathed.

we live together and we share a car. i am currently not working but i have a solid amount of savings to last me at least 6-8 months. i ended the night as cordially as i could, and now we are both calm from last night.

i really want to get out of this relationship. i think what i am realizing now is i have to prepare for this breakup. i need to get my own car, and potentially start looking for a place. i think one of the reasons i did not do it last night was because i kept thinking about how hard it will be to put my life together if we don't share our resources right now.

any advice? anyone been through similar situations. i dont know what will be on the other side but i think this era between us is dead and decaying.