I'm a 27 year old male who had his heart broken for the first time. I thought we had a great relationship, never fought or had any arguments. We would see each other 2-3 times a week, text and call each other practically every day, thought we were beginning to build a life together. The sex was amazing, each time better than the last (her words), and we could talk pretty much about anything and everything. I allowed myself to fall in love with her, and i trusted and believed her when she'd tell me that she loved me. We knew each other for 3.5 years, beginning as fwb while she was in another open relationship. I was alright with that at the time, I was working 55 hours a week and didnt really have time to go out looking for a relationship. We had an immediate connection, felt like we knew each other our entire lives on the first day we met (again, her words). Almost like we were meant to meet each other. She had just found out she was pregnant when we began hanging out, I was always alright with that. I never saw her as tainted or used, I was in it for her soul. She brought a new light into my life, and brought out a side of me I thought I didnt have. Balanced me. Her relationship with her ex and baby daddy was a violent one. They'd argue and fight constantly. Sometimes with fists. And I became her distraction from all that, from all the drama that she would go home to every night. Again, I was fine with that at the time. It was just fun to me at first, fun for the both of us. And when things started getting bad in that relationship she'd come to me. To talk, vent, bitch about him. My advice was always to talk to him, let him know how you feel and go from there. Then they broke up, she still lived with him (i thought for the kid's sake) while I was in my place. But we would see each other almost every day. We talked about moving in together, even looked at a couple of houses. But that fell through, and she stayed again with the baby daddy. I got a place of my own, a 2 bedroom townhouse. I had no roommates, and had brought up the subject of her and the kid moving in on multiple occasions. I was able to afford living on my own because I had a decent job managing a restaurant. Flash forward a couple of years... We began a relationship of our own. She was still in her place with the baby daddy, the child, and a good friend of theirs. I was still at the same restaurant, but business began slowing down putting a lot of stress and weight on my shoulders. It became pretty obvious she wasnt going to move in anytime soon. Which didnt bother me, I thought that because things were so great that we'd get there eventually. And i moved into a single bedroom apartment to begin saving money. A few months go by, I take her on a trip for her birthday in august, things still appear to be going great. Halloween the owners inform me that they're closing down that night. A 6 hour notice, and that not only am i out of a job but i've got to break the news to everyone. Which i didnt realize at the time how traumatizing that was. My first thought when they closed was cool, i get to sleep in this week! I had some money saved up, i didnt need to get another job for a couple of weeks so i enjoyed not having to do anything for that time. Spent it playing skyrim, smoking weed. Just enjoying life. Still seeing her when she was available. I guess the weed took me out of the relationship a bit, because i didnt see the signs that something was going on with her. She began to be more quiet and reserved. We'd still have sex almost every time we'd see each other, it wasnt a big deal to me when we didnt because i really just enjoyed spending time with her. Then one day she doesnt text me back or answer my calls. Which frustrated me, because the last thing she told me was that she had to take the kid to the hospital. That she'd let me know when they were done. I began to worry more about the kid than anything. The next morning I get the "we need to talk" text. We talk on my way to work, she wanted to see me after i got off but i wanted to talk to her then because i didnt want to let it affect my work. Part of me wishes i would have waited, but looking at it now she made her decision to break up with me before then. A long hour talk goes by, she dropped so much information on me at one time that it was really hard to process what was really happening. She said she didnt want to bring it up when i was busy looking for another job, but she was always the most important person in my life. I talk her into giving it the weekend to think, not to give up on us just like that. I keep texting her that weekend, sending her pictures of letters i've been writing. And the next monday we talk in person. 3-4 hours of what seems like lies to me now. I remember her saying that "she needs to find what makes her happy, and so do i" and that she "wont get into another relationship". She had talked to her mother, to friends, and to the baby daddy who hated her being with me because it was inconvenient for him. He uses and manipulates her, but she took his word over mine. That was Dec 5th. I was devastated, blindsided. I wanted to ask this girl to marry me. I wanted to build a life with her and someone else's kid, a very cool kid though. That never bothered me. And i tried fighting for her for the next month. Giving her space, only texting/talking about every other 3 days. Trying to convince her that we want the same things in life. Asking her if the door was really closed? If it is tell me and i'll stop. But i dont want to lose you. She could never say the words i thought i wanted to hear. she'd say "i still need time to think." Her stuff stayed here for 2 weeks, she said a part of her wasnt ready to see me yet. I thought that was a good sign, that she was regretting giving up on me. But seeing it here made it impossible for me to move on, so i had to drop them off to her. When i did, there was already another guy there. I even bought her a necklace before all this happened. Thought giving it to her would have helped. About 3 weeks go by then she begins to drop small truths, that she's been 'becoming friends' with another guy. Someone who apparently has been friends with her friends for a while, prowling around, skulking in the background. That he would be there when she'd be out with her other friends and dance group. And she told me that one day she was at the mall (where he works) and passed out because she's anemic. And he was there to be the 'hero'. She NEVER told me about that when it happened. Then on Jan 3rd i see them at the grocery store, her, him, and the kid. The same kid she never seemed to bring around me, because it wasnt my job to make her bring the kid around. I wanted her to be a bigger part of our life, but again i thought it would naturally come into play. That was the day I began realizing that it really is over. That she's moving on, too quickly i thought for how long we were together. And how much she said she 'loved' me. a week later she's leaving on a "vacation" to colorado with friends. couldnt tell me who, probably was him. the last thing i told her was "have fun." the very next day he posts on his fb that they're in a relationship, post dating it to dec 3rd. 2 days after she initially broke up with me. but 2 days before we were REALLY over. It's been 4 weeks with no contact. And i have to say, it's getting easier. I still miss the companionship, and the good memories have stopped feeling like daggers to the heart. I've stopped thinking about them together, stopped holding on to the love that i thought she had for me. I used to think that she was manipulated into this by her friends, the baby daddy, and him. the "knight in shining armor." But this was HER choice. She chose to push me out of her life. It was her decision that now i have to live with. For a while I felt used, abandoned, and played. She basically cheated on me. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. Instead of coming to me, the man she 'loved' first when she started feeling the way she did, she talked to everyone else. To people who didnt know what it was like when we were together, to the baby daddy who hates me, uses her, manipulates her. and to a guy who she knew was interested. She's not dumb. Like i was just a fling that went on for too long. Maybe that was the case, but i know what i felt was real and true. That i CAN love someone entirely, that i CAN make someone happy. It was really all about HER. This was her choice, her decision, and she's the one that gave up on us. Abandoned what we had for something that may be easier. She's a cheater, and i'm seeing her for what she really is. Tigers dont change their stripes, if it didnt happen now it might have happened when we were married and had kids of our own. I see now that i dont NEED someone like that in my life. I still want her, but soon that will change i hope. No contact has been helping. I'm focusing on school, I'm going to get a degree in mechanical engineering. I'll have a job that pays me way more that what i used to, and what she chose (the guy manages a fucking pretzel shop in the mall. and he's older than me) I'll have a career that gives me the chance to spend more time with friends, family, and loved ones. One that will provide for a long time. I've been getting back in shape too. If she ever does see me again, i want to make her jealous of what she gave up on. Not to spite her, i hope she's happy, but this is all for ME. I'm the only one that can make me happy. I'm the only one that can give me strength. I'm the only one who can give myself closure, there's nothing she can say that will honestly make me trust her again. She lied to me, hid things from me. Let her live her own life, make her own choices/mistakes.