Idk where to even start. my bf (or ex now, i guess) of 5 YEARS broke up w me last week, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. we’ve been together since high school like, we were legit besties first, always hanging out since his house is super close to mine. he was my ride-or-die, my comfort person, and it just kinda happened one day..we became more than friends. after that, we were inseparable for so long. like, ppl would say we were “that couple” who seemed perfect, but I guess not. But juust last month, things started goin downhill. it’s hard to even pinpoint when it started, but I felt this shift. he got a new job earlier this year, and I was super proud of him at first. then this one coworker came into the picture, and everything changed. I found some msgs from her not like super flirty or anything crazy, but idk, they felt off. She’d text him early mornings like, “don’t forget ur lunch!” or “we should grab coffee b4 work!” stuff like that. she’d even call him sometimes, when were spending time together he was soo busy with his phone, asking him who was that and he said just a co-worker coz she has a prob. and also I’d hear her voice in the background when he was gettin ready for work. it just rubbed me wrong then I noticed they’d always take their breaks 2gether. like, EVERY break. and when I asked about it, he brushed it off like I was overreacting. he’d say, “she’s just a friend, u don’t have to make it weird,” but it didn’t sit right with me. I couldn’t shake this gut feeling that something wasn’t right. & yeah, I started pickin fights bcoz I couldn’t stop thinkin bout it. It got bad. I’d overthink every little thing he did, if he got home late, I’d assume the worst. if he didn’t answer my texts fast enough, I’d start spiraling. I even checked his phone a couple times when he wasn’t looking (I know, not my proudest moment). I just didn’t know how to deal w the jealousy, & it got the best of me. He told me last week that he couldn’t handle how toxic I’d gotten. said I didn’t trust him and that I was making him feel trapped. the worst part???? He didn’t even yell or anything when he broke up w/ me. He just looked tired, like he’d already checked out. I swear, I didn’t mean to push him away..I just felt so insecure, n I didn’t know how to handle it. And now he’s gone, I can’t stop blaming myself. I replay every fight, every stupid argument in my head, and I wonder if I could’ve done things differently. I still love him, and it hurts so bad knowing I drove him away. has anyone ever been in this kinda situation??? how do u even start to fix urself after messing up this bad? bcoz right now, it feels like I’ll never be okay again.