Me (m37) and my still girfriend of sorts (f27) have all but broken up after 2 years.

I have failed to meet her constant need for validation and reassurance. She failed to meet my needs as well on several levels.

She broke the rules in our open relationship with a guy she now is catching feelings for and is likely goig to date as soon as we properly break up. According to her she does not love me anymore and she said "this was never good". We've been fighting for weeks now. I am finally changing the things she wanted me to change for a long time but I think it's to late. Yet instead of breaking up with me she says I should have patience and she does not want to make a decision right now. At the same time she is meeting the other guy constantly. I asked her yesterday if we are even still together and she just said "i don't know".

I thought about breaking up with her myself several times now but I can't. I still do have feelings for her and she has a big event coming up that she can't fuck up.

So how can I accept that this is over emotionally? I know I can't win. Even if she gives it another shot there will be trust issues on both sides. On her sode because it took me so long to change. On my side because she cheated on me. Regaining love is probably impossible under these conditions.

I thought her to be the love of my life. But things fell apart so rapidly before my eyes.

How can I accept what is about to come?

TL;DR; : I fucked up my relationship and it will end soon. How can I accept this emotionally?