I’ve been aware of this lifestyle for a while. I recently just got a Dom. I have a lot of unfavorable tattoos, because I’m a metalhead. I lost over 100lbs as well. He knows about my past ( I trauma dump a lot ). My Inspection and Agreement was made 06/10 of this month. We were so close, he would talk to me frequently, throughout the day. He made me feel beautiful for the first time in my life. He would hold me on his lap and talk to me and mentor me. Now it’s like I don’t even matter, I asked him if I had upset him in anyway, he says no but his responses are so cold. It feels like I’m only being used as his expense. I’m so heartbroken.

Side Note: I got a tattoo of his Dom name as a token of my endearment. Then this happened not even 11days in.

On Wednesday I decided to cut my drinking. He invited me to his place. Gave me alcohol and were talking, and having fun. He says that I was being disrespectful because he doesn’t like SWITCHES. I don’t think I did anything wrong because I do not want to loose him, a lot of the time I have to get the edge off because of my past. It really feels like he just needed a reason to blame me for something. So that possibly I would just leave him alone.

For example he said he Had an early appointment, so I made sure to get some proper sleep. I got up and expressed my feelings. ( he also told me he would message me in the morning ) which he didn’t. His texts go from being so loving and thoughtful to being cold. I’m so hurt. I’m trying not to self destruct. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.