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Your last paragraph is explained very well to me. It's definitely a case by case basis that needs specialized therapists and support to work through.
Can those people live a happy and fulfilled life? Can they find a partner that is ok with them finding children attractive. Would that person be ok starting a family with them. Should they be allowed around children. Would it need to be disclosed on job applications if it involves minors. It seems like a very lonely life.
I'm not sure where that person would find a community other than other pedophiles. I don't think I could be friends with someone who finds kids attractive.
Again idk the answer. I typically live my life by not caring about what people do as long as it doesn't hurt innocent people or take away rights. And really as long as this person keeps it a secret and never acts on it then it's fine I guess?? But when they do act on it, because the impact on others is so great, it's hard not to have an aggressive stance against all pedophilia.
Would you say the same for someone with depression though? If having the thoughts isn't the bad part but only acting on it is the bad part then it's too late. If you get help with depression you can eliminate those feelings and urges. With pedophilia it's similar to telling a straight person/gay person just be attracted to the same/other sex. It just doesn't work. You can't really change what you like. You could prescribe libido blockers to remove sexual desires but I'm not sure how ethical that is. But it's also pretty immoral to fantasize about children so idk.
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How do you fix a pedophile? Genuine question. How do you change what someone is attracted to? I think most criminals can be helped with rehabilitation. I just have no idea what that would be like for them.