From shooting cinnamon whiskey with me throughout middle school to me finding spice in dice covered dime bags at a bus stop several times and geeking at his house because "he won't care I'm high" come sad old divorcee dinnertime which I'd usually be passed out for anyway those days to just recently finding out he's unsurprisingly a blue lives, I have enough to process from this man. he tried reaching out for my birthday and left me a "limited edition I was born in 2002" tshirt on the porch while I was out spending my birthday money with my ex I hate and don't even wanna see but he has weed and I'd been off it for a while but I had nothing else to do even though I want to ghost him (expediting that a nother ex M who quickly became a fp even though we dated maybe a week I believed I'd get another chance even after being ghosted and lied to so I was worried for years until I try reaching out to one of her mutuals and get told to fuck off with my sob story which fair I probably worded it poorly but I genuinely didn't know if I was lied to or not and I was just scared she was abused) spending it on nicotine which I want to quit and since the cashier saw we were ghits he talked about some BS deal and got me to buy 2 and spend all my cash (20 and 2 fives I'd been sitting on "to spend on an actual something when I have more not drugs") I thought weed helped me but I only started smoking to replace spice trips which are evil and quite literally mind breaking even though being stoned can let my analyze myself better it's not worth getting a medical card again I just need to figure out using smartly