I think I need to start this off by saying that I've been reasserting but am not diagnosed or anything, but I'm very sure I have bpd.

Anyway. So I've been with my partner for 2 years. We're both sure that we love each other, he's dealt with every random and excessive moment I had pretty well, and we talk a lot too so I know he isn't interested in anyone else. Our relationship is great.

Only problem is that I tend to randomly choose one of his friends to absolutely HATE every few months. It switches people. They become a sort of trigger when I see them in photos or hear about them. I'm usually not able to hold back getting upset, which then leads to me thinking he prefers them over me. I've acted out a few times, in which I wrongly have or find a reason that this person is "bad". Its as if I forget they're just a good friend, and I forget about my partners reassurance as well. The person will trigger these breakdowns, in which the bad thoughts happen for a few hours, until I can move on from it.

I haven't been able to stop these thoughts ever, I always have to let them pass. I tell my partner and them I'm trying to do better, while all I really can do is take a long break from talking to anyone. I really don't know what to do.

What I want to know is if anyone else with bpd feels this way about their partner's friends, or if this is just plain jealousy?

Any input would help, thanks.