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Hollow and estranged
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I don't feel connected with - anybody - . 99% of my days feel like that. I could be sitting right next to someone I am interested in, but I still feel as though I'm a million miles away. Close or far, it's all the same. I'm always alone.

I feel overwhelmingly hollow. There is no place where I feel like I belong. I've been trying so hard at school to connect with people and going out of my comfort zone (I have social anxiety), but even then it all feels superficial. I don't really have "convos" with anyone. Everything dies after a few sentences (at best).

I am not close with anyone rn. Heck "close" is such a far cry, I don't even have any people irl I can even talk to. I have a tendency to become obsessed with some of my friends, which just leads to disappointment and resentment. I'm trying to work on that. But I don't know how to set healthy expectations with regards to socializing. I'm not hoping for anything crazy...

I feel afraid of being abandoned and separated, both from friends and the people I want to befriend. Uni starts in a year or so, and we'll all go our separate ways.

I can't get therapy. This is depressing. Can I get some advice for navigating through this? If anyone's been through something similar, can you let me know what helped you?

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Posted
2 years ago