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When I break through to the other side of the distress and enter self-destructive mode, itâs like, yeah I want to cut because itâs an impulsive coping mechanism. But even more than that is my brainâs weird desire to see blood. Itâs like I can consciously feel that something is âoffâ about my brain, like I just donât give a flying fuck anymore and want to do naughty things just to revel in it.
Itâs partially terrifying and I also feel partially jealous that I canât unmask like this all the time.
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- 2 months ago
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