So I’m 18F and my director is 31M. He’s married, just to get that out of the way. On top of that being my teacher. I’ve known him since I was 16. Thus I would never try to approach a relationship with him at all. But I’m still struggling to cope with the fact that band is over. I’ve graduated in January, but I still attend high school pep band because I’m desperate not to let go.

On my last day of school before pep band, he noticed me lingering in the band room and sat for 2 hours with me after school just listening to me ramble about my fears in leaving school. We talked about adulthood, dating in college (he helped me through a serious breakup before), and about our favorite shows.

That interaction simultaneously made it easier and harder to let go.

How can I cope with the abandonment I know I’ll feel when pep band ends? I would never tell him I feel this way, that would obviously be inappropriate on many levels. I’m struggling to find something else that would make this easier. I feel like if I ever date soon, all I want is someone like him. I want to feel the way he makes me feel. But I don’t know if that’s realistic. Maybe his personality just comes with that maturity, but I would never truly feel safe approaching any other man his age romantically.