So I was just hospitalized for the 8th time (not counting rehabs). The 7th time was earlier this month. I was there for like 10 days, but when I went back to stay with my friend, she started being kind of mean to me for some reason, and she ended up screaming at cussing me out because she overheard me calling her "selfish" to myself. I ran away and was going to kill myself by freezing to death, but I changed my mind when I realized that would be a very uncomfortable way to go, so I committed myself to the same hospital I had just left.

My social worker there had sent me to an outpatient place where they only spoke Spanish in Groups. If she had gotten me into a good PHP program, things would have been different (I had been kicked out of one prior to this due to admitting to eating a piece of weed brownie when I was feeling suicidal). Anyway, so when I got back to the hospital, I told the social worker what happened and that I was going to kill myself, and she told me I was being dramatic. So I called her a fat cunt.

I'm on my way back south to my home state, and I told her I wanted to do an outpatient program, and she put in my discharge paperwork that I should do a walk-in at a place that doesn't even do outpatient stuff. So I called her and told her to fax my paperwork to this other place that did have outpatient PHP, and she said she would, but she never did. I am so aggravated. Should I report her or something? I apologized for calling her names, but I still think she's holding a grudge and attempting to fuck me over out of spite. But I REALLY need to do this program, at least until I can find a job or something, because when I have nothing to do, I seriously come very close to quitting this world.