I feel like I was genuinely the only person who had hope and faith in the Borderlands movie from the day that it was initially announced. I liked the director they chose, I loved the casting (except for Kevin Hart as Roland) and I even liked most of what they were showing in the trailers. I am a die-hard fan of the games. It is my overall favourite gaming franchise and Borderlands 2 in particular is a top 10 greatest video game of all time in my opinion.

Then when the reviews dropped and it was nearly at a 0% on RT, I genuinely thought that there was no way that it could be THAT BAD! Then it had an abysmal opening weekend and I just had to see it for myself because maybe I would be the only person who ended up liking it. When I walked into my theatre today to see it, I was literally the only person in the theatre which meant I could yell, scream and swear at the screen as much as I wanted to and OH BOY DID I!

I genuinely did not think I would see a worse movie this year than Madame Web, but it breaks my heart to say that Borderlands is currently and most likely will end up being the worst film ot 2024. At least with Madame Web, it was a f tier comic character that I had literally never heard of, so I had zero expectations going into it, but this is BORDERLANDS, my favourite gaming franchise of all time which is why it hurts all the more.

There is almost NOTHING in this movie that even resembles or pays respect to anything in the games and I am not joking. It looks and feels more like a Mad Max movie than a Borderlands movie. The actors all tried their best, but they all delivered their dialogue like they had zero clue what anything they were saying meant which is probably true because I can almost guarantee that none of them did any research on the characters they were playing or even just the world they were acting in whatsoever. The costumes looked like shit aside from Moxxi and Marcus. If nobody had told me and I did not know that Jack Black was the voice of Claptrap before watching the movie, I genuinely would not have known it was him because it sounded nothing like him. How hard would it have been to get the actual voice actor from the games back in?

They used some of the more boring characters like Krieg instead of Brick and Mordecai? They didn't even use Dr. Zed or Scooter at all, the two funniest characters from the games? No Handsome Jack? No Angel?

They didn't even give Lilith her Siren body marks except for at the end when she transforms into the Firehawk for two minutes and then they disappear again. Kevin Hart was an absolute joke as Roland. He jusy wasnt Roland PERIOD! They didnt even delve into Roland and Liliths romantic relationship at all which Im actually happy about because there is no reality anywhere where Kevin Hart as Roland would have anywhere close to a shot with Cate Blanchetts Lilith. They gave Tiny Tina the ability to Phasewalk instead of Lilith when she isn't even a Siren? They didn't even make Lilith a Vault Hunter. They were able to just open the Vault when it can only be opened once every 200 years in the games? None of the iconic named locations lime Fyrestone, Sanctuary, Piss Wash Gully or the Caustic Caverns looked ANYTHING like they do in the games, the creature and vehicle designs were generic as fuck, they only showed iconic creatures like the Skag and Thresher on screen for lien 30 seconds to a minute at most, the villain was boring and uninteresting as fuck and there was not one single laugh from me in the entire thing.

But the absolute biggest crime of the entire movie was making it PG-13. How do you turn a hard R rated video game franchise into a PG-13 movie? Can you even imagine if they had done that with The Last of Us or Fallout or if Rockstar made a movie or TV series of Red Dead Redemption or Grand Theft Auto and turned it PG-13.

Every single studio executive who is responsible for this abomination of a movie need to have their ass fired immediately and never be allowed to work in the entertainment industry again. How did Lionsgate go from giving us an iconic R rated franchise in John Wick to giving us this dumpster fire?

This film should have gotten the Batgirl treatment and been completely scrapped never to see the light of day. This movie is not even going to make its $30 million MARKETING budget back, let alone its $115 million production budget.

I could literally go on for longer than the movies runtime with everything that was horribly wrong with this abortion of a film. It was an absolute train wreck that I just couldn't look away from.