Summary

Hello nak rant sikit about something that happened yesterday. If you don't like dramas don't read this it's a lot.

So for context my husband and I have been married for two years. Husbands bio mom passed away when he was young, I wasn't close to her but she was very nice. At the time my father in law (fil) was in his 3rd marriage with hb step mom (step mil) being the 3rd (2nd wife divorced).

When I first got engaged to Hb I didn't knew much about his fam as Hb was mostly close with my cousins while I was just getting to know him. I did know that fil and step mil had a small child they adopted together and that she was Indonesian and that was about it.

During our 6 month engagement my interaction with his fam was minimal even up to 6 months of our marriage as we first live in my hometown. Step mil would constantly bombard Hb phone to call and ask him if he's not going to take care of his dad which confused me as she's his wife? This also confused my own family and my mom being the narcissist she is used this to put me down to say I married into a bad family.

Well fast forward 6 months Hb is growing worried of fils health and decided to move which causes drama as my mom 'worries' about me. But this post is not about that but to sum it up my mom was basically panicking as her favourite scapegoat was running away and she initiated NC which we went along with and she threw a tantrum at us for not panicking.

So here's the part about step mil. See she's not the typical indo auntie that belais you and sweet talks because she's sweet. In simple terms she does things that only benefit her. She's not outright mean but that's maybe cause I'm fils menantu bongsu.

She rarely visits fil and fil is the one that has to go over to her house despite his old age. I brushed that off and didn't mind looking after him as he is not a picky man, prefers doing his own things unless he needs help and also since step mil is busy with her own fam. She takes care of her mentally disabled son who seems nice (and is surprisingly the most responsible and helpful out of all her children I kid you not), grandchildren and cousins child or her other nieces and nephews. Yeah there's a lot. But all of them other than the close fam have now lived away from her but they used to be cramped together.

Now here comes step mils adopted son, 8 yrs old who I'll refere to as F. So F was adopted by fil after (whew this gonna be long to explain) his step son in law's (so step mils son in law who I'll refer to as A) sister who is also Indonesian had a child out of wedlock with an Indian man who is surprisingly a cop (like wow). She at first gave the child to A and his wife (step mils daughter), V to take care of but she refused? Or only took care of him for a while till she got pregnant (wowowow ikr) then that's when fil and step mil took him in. It was mostly step mil who wanted to take care of him but she's also the one who complains the most about him but at the same time won't stop coddling him, eg: tak nak tegur, biarlah dia budak lagi and all the standard stuff.

I would also like to add that apparently he was a difficult child and oh lord...my fil used to tie him with a metal chain to chair in step mils house. I dunno if he was actually difficult or if they just couldn't take care of a small child as they're old right...Gil is 72 or something and step mil is 57

Now let's give some other history about F. So F is a bit loud, needs to constantly make noise and is always buat tahu tak tahu je kinda like blur ii aja but that also maybe since hes always playing handphone kan. So last year some drama happened when F went to my 2nd brother in law's house, M. Played with his children then my biras, S, his wife was checking the CCTV app on her phone to see F pulling his pants down and telling her 2nd son to 'hisap'. Wow like I'm taking a pause as I type this. S immediately calls V (step mil daughter) and starts bombarding her but not with too much detail basically asking to have step mil come see her at her house when she gets back from her nurse job. F got cekik by M and pushed to the wall and after some sinetron from step mil and sorries from F they all went back.

Another incident was just this year around January or February. Fil like taking old coconuts from the tree near our house. That day was hot so when he got tired he went back in. I was in my room with my baby so didn't know anything when one my close nieces came in my room without knocking to say fil fell on the floor. Fil was on the floor sat down from exhaustion and do you know what F did? He laughed in his face. He laughed at the sight of the man that payed for his expenses when he was considered a foreigner including the textbooks clinics and school fee, the man that helped him get an ic by naik turun imigresen, the man that gave him the life he has now.

I was furious. Like I don't have a relationship with my father anymore but I can recognise a good father. After helping my father out and cleaning out some waste he accidentally exceeded from exhaustion I started berating, F. For the fist time I complained. I was always silent or just tried to advise him nicely gave him words of wisdom but that time? No. I told him how ungrateful he was and how he should've helped me and my niece get fil up, cleaned the floor instead of laughing. I told the other family members and had M my brother in-law send him home as he cried but I did tell F to not make up stories and that he should reflect on how he treats his dad.

Fast forward a few days were having dinner and Hb asks if F is not coming over for the weekend and fil says I hate F and that's the reason. When I told him that it's because he's disrespectful he said the same thing step mil always says. Biarlah dia tu budak. I was like wow. After all that caretaking, I wiped your shit off the floor and chairs and you decide to berate me? For a few days I didn't say a word to fil and when F came I didn't interact with him at all. When he spoke I simply ignore him.

At first I thought that step mil disliked me for sending F home but guess what. It was my fil because during raya when I met step mil she was fine and glad to see me. She did say sorry for not seeing me for a long time as her son in law (the same one who kept spending money from my Hb I made a post about this before, the same one who has nearly 10k in debt to fil) k word himself from stress of ahlongs.

Now yesterday. Yester step mil and F and some of her other grandchildren during maghrib mind you came to our house. This has happened a few times but it hasn't happened in a while so I was stunned. I was more stunned when F who barely eats food I cook when he's staying over would rather eat Maggie, came into our dining area and selamba senduk nasi and makan in front of teh tv sambil suap step mils grandson. Like. Wow. When I invite you to eat you say no and rather eat unhealthy food but now you come invited when all the syaitans berkeliaran outside and selamba eat the food that is cukup ii for the ppl in my house.

After taking turns to pray with Hb we sat down and talked to step mil and guessed what. She started talking about how her granddaughter application as anak angkat to get if wasn't approved. And she said as she pointed a finger at me, 'salah (my name) lah ni'. Because the other day imigresen came and I answered thruthfully that none if them lived there???

When I sat down to eat with Hb obviously since he's a man he got that male ego even if it's small so he asked why I didn't tell him about the imigresen visit and got annoyed when there wasn't enough rice for fil even though fil said he wasn't hungry. Like look I love my man but how is this my fault??? Like your step mom came here with all these kids uninvited and they all started eating, yes she too started eating with her granddaughter in the living room okay.

After some more talking she left back home but F stayed over despite step mil and fil told him to go back to his house. Then only then did my child sleep. Haha. Though thankfully my kid is an easy baby so bless that boy.

Sorry for the long rant y'all. I don't hate Indonesian or Indians or any other race but this was just for context. My husband did apologise and we made up after his step mom left. He admitted that he got embarrassed as he felt that he was also blamed since he felt a sense of responsibility to me so anything I do that's deemed as wrong is his wrong lah.

I also have still tried to talk nicely with F as I still feel a bit bad for him. I mean his mom didn't want him and now only contacts him cuz his adoptive mom asks her to do so. His dad send money never met him. And now since V lives back with step mil he's always getting blamed by her kids for everything which also caused him to be left at his bio moms house a week before raya. My Hb recently started teaching him to read yeah he can't read as nobody else can stand to tegur him coz he either will ignore it or tell his mom and make up stories. Though thankfully step mil despite some of her odd behaviour is one to be swayed by rumours easily so I'll give her that.

Sorry for this long rant I just needed to clear my thoughts.