So, here's a question: Does your BDD mean that you want to be able to look in the mirror and be satisfied with yourself, or do you want others to look at you and find you beautiful?

I know that, ideally, all of us would want both. But what would you pick if you could only pick one of these? Either you can start looking in the mirror and being satisfied with how you look, even if others don't necessarily find you attractive. Or you can still have look in the mirror every day and hate what you see, but others find you beautiful.

For me personally, I'd rather have the second. I'd rather still hate how I look but get all the advantages of being beautiful than being able to look at myself in the mirror and being satisfied.

Which is part of why I want surgery, btw. I know that a lot of people have said that BDD doesn't fix surgery. And maybe it doesn't. But I wonder if maybe it would at least make me attractive enough that others think I'm attractive. Maybe I'll still look at myself and find things to hate. But if others wanted me that would be enough.