so basically we met each other a few years ago when we were both young and in high school but he quickly stopped being friends with me due to a guy he liked (that i was also friends with) dropping him but staying friends with me. after that whole ordeal a few months pass and i’m coincidentally talking to someone who he was also talking to. bc i was curious about how he still felt about me i asked the guy to casually bring me up and he said “(my name)? ewww he is so retared looking and ugly i’d rather kill myself than look like that.” which rightfully upset me and ngl has really stuck with me ever since. (he also doesn’t know i know any of this fyi which makes things very awkward to say the least) like it’s the type of insult that will play on a loop when i’m in the middle of a BDD episode and i’ve never really been insulted like that before it affects me *that bad.

a year ago we bumped into each other in public and after hanging out for a little bit we agreed to be friends again. however it’s still hard being his friend given that he doesn’t know that i know he said that stuff about my appearance. i also can’t really take the way he compliments my appearance on my instagram and such seriously. the way he just says stuff like “ok eattttt!!” “slayyyyy!” “you look like the main character b!tch…” just feel so inauthentic and condescending. like his nicenesss is fake and just overcompensation for the stuff he said ab me in the past.

maybe im just overthinking it or maybe its bc i know im actually ugly and he’s not and that this is just stressing me out. idk what would you do?