My post was deleted because the mod misread my post and thought I asked for private feedback on here. NOWHERE in my post did I ask for private feedback. When I’m asking for advice in this post, I’m asking for advice on how to tell if people who give me physical compliments or people who stare at me think I’m ugly or attractive. That’s what I want advice on. And then I proceeded to say that I WOULD try to get peoples opinions by posting on a sub like that ”rate me” sub or “first impression” sub, but those subs tend to be trolling and not accurate to reality. I did not ask for ANY private feedback on here, nor do I want it. With that being said I will repost my message and delete anything that the mods may misinterpret again.
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It’s so weird to me how some people actually beleive physically compliments they’re told.
I don’t beleive compliments from conventionally good looking or conventionally not amazing looking people. I just assume they have different intentions. Conventionally not amazing people are probably wishing they had one of my traits bc one of my traits may be less “ugly” than theirs. Meanwhile, conventionally attractive ppl are likely complimenting me out of pity/ just to try to be nice and lift someone up who is worse looking.
If animals could talk, I’d beleive an animal if they told me I’m good looking or not, or whatever. But animals can’t talk, and even if they could, they don’t perceive attractiveness in human appearances like humans do. At all. So the only thing I’m left with is trusting the word of humans. But humans are so untrustworthy and their intentions are often bizzarre so I can’t trust what they say. People lie, it’s in the human nature.
I genuinely have no idea if I’m attractive or not because I’ll every now and then get someone calling me some physical compliment like gorgeous, but their intentions are questionable. It’s often said to me by older women who likely are just envious of my youthful appearance. But being young doesn’t equal attractive.
I also get people looking at me in public a lot. I tried to ask the AI bot “how to tell whether people are looking at you bc they think you’re pretty or ugly” and it said to look at facial expression and body language. If they smile or look friendly, they likely think you look good. If they quickly look away or look scared or closed off, they may think you’re ugly (possibly. It said sometimes they can do this if they find you intimidatingly attractive too.)
Anyway, that aside, that advice doesn’t help me because when people look at me in public, their facial expression appears neutral. They don’t smile, but they don’t look upset or unhappy either, it moreso looks curious. But sometimes it looks inquisitive, as if they’re trying to study me or figure something out. So it either looks neutral or like they’re scanning me over.
None of that allows me to know the reason why people often look at me. I don’t wear flashy clothes, I don’t have dyed hair, I don’t have anything that pops out so people don’t stare because of that. It’s either that they find me ugly, good looking, or it’s some completely unrelated reason that I’m not aware of.
I’m so tired of trying to figure people out.
If anyone has any other ideas of helping me know if I look good or bad in the opinions of strangers, please let me know bc I have no idea and it drives me crazy. I have no ability to physically see myself objectively due to my dysmorphia and due to how contradicting people are in their beliefs and behaviors and stuff. The only way I can know how attractive I look is by assessing the opinions of other humans but humans aren’t reliable or logical or coherent most of the time. I am not asking for private feedback. I’m asking on advice on ways to assess whether people think I’m attractive or ugly in the outside world (like strangers) without directly asking them. And please don’t suggest that I “ask friends or family”, they would be incredibly biased because they know me and are relatively fond of me as a person so they would by default say I’m attractive.
So to summarize, I occasionally get physical compliments. And I get looked/stared at an uncomfortable amount for a reason I do not know yet. Advice on how to tell or figure out whether or not these people find me good or bad looking is highly appreciated. (Without directly asking). Are there any other cues I can pay attention to to be able to tell? I am highly uncomfortable with being stared at and I genuinely don’t know if they’re staring because I’m ugly or good looking.