I’m a second year apprentice and I thought I’ll be over this feeling. But I suck at taking initiative and it makes me look bad. Takes me quite a while to understand. My gut tells me do what exactly they would. But I don’t follow it and end up looking stupid. I really don’t know why I’m here saying this. Venting just seems so weird to me. I’m trying to fake it til I make it. But as of now I feel like im going backwards.

I don’t know what im asking for here. But maybe me not feeling alone about how im feeling about myself. I love the thought of learning about plumbing. The company I work for it really chill and laid back. But some days I think I’m too dumb to do it. I never really applied myself with anything in life. This plumbing thing is like the second. I’m not really a sensitive person but some days I can’t get out of my head. I feel like they spare me because im a girl which I don’t like. I believe in tough love and that builds character. Im not saying yell at me but tell me if I can be doing better.

I don’t really have someone I can truly confide in on this topic. But somehow it feels better telling a stranger than someone I know. So drop some advice if you want.