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10
32 [F4A] #Online Experienced pink-haired subby slut seeking edgeplay lifestyle control, privilege restriction, emotional masochism, sexual and non-sexual sadism
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z_mill is a female age 32 looking for anyone in online
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Zara, she/hers! (Hi, yes, I am trans. I'm not new trans and think I'm pretty fucking cute after 3 years of HRT. Skinny e-girl vibes. Perv my post history here, or I'll link you my Fet gallery if you message me.)

๐Ÿ”น I'm an emotional masochist seeking a values-aligned intelligent partner for a dynamic including comfort and privilege restriction, potentially tech dom, and more-or-less pseudo-abuse. I go to play parties monthly, have in-person play partners and my romantic partner. I've found that my ideal lifestyle D/s dynamic exists as well (or better) online as in-person.

I'm not a newbie, and looking for introspective and skilled dominants. Kink is my life. I'm devoted to facilitating and building values-driven safer spaces both online and in-person. Community safety, kink education, and exploring identity are intrinsically linked together.

Let's chat. Let me get to know you as a person, and you me. It's critical for building trust, and with emotional masochism, you'll hurt me more if your opinion of me matters. Start a conversation by telling me how you see consent, debriefing and negotiation, why you're interested in emotional edgeplay. We'll chat and go from there _^

๐Ÿ”นKinks: I'm on the extreme side of things. I'm an emotional masochist into intense non-sexual sadism; kink to me is largely about psychological play, dynamics, and tones, and the physical acts are tools to reach different feelings.

My psychological kinks mostly fall under the umbrella of consensual non-consent and include tech dom and privacy removal, sleep deprivation, tasks that mess with my OCD or ADHD, lifestyle control, removal of comforts privileges and coping mechanisms, parental controls, food control, manipulation and mindfucks, fear, gaslighting, intelligence degradation, behavior modification, condescension and fake sympathy.

Some of my favorite physical activities include violet wands and electrical play, impact play, bondage, anal/oral penetration, rope, teasing, and generally being and feeling sexually used.

If you're interested in tech dom--it's similar but distinct from blackmail kink-- My life, comfort, privileges, comfort, and autonomy can be limited based on your whims or my behavior. I'm able to give access to my phone and PC, from RATs to parental controls to TeamViewer. I have a camera in my living room and bedroom. You don't need to watch me or monitor my devices 24/7 to make me feel watched.

๐Ÿ–คDegradation is my love language. Power exchange and sexual and non-sexual sadism bring a sense of peace and gratefulness to my day-to-day, moment-to-moment life.

I tend to like the reality more than the fantasy (no, I don't have that backwards). My psychological kinks are deep, and are perhaps best described as "consensual abuse." What do I mean? Have some examples from my lived kink experiences:

  • With your actions and words, remind me of and threaten me with the power you have over my comforts and life.

  • Put me through hell waking me up middle of the night to torture me or deny me rest, or scare me while I'm doing something else.

  • Disrupt my routines and keep me low and small so I'm easier to mindfuck, control, and gaslight, and make me grateful for the things I am given and permitted.

  • Restrict the things that give me comfort and make me feel safe, and manipulatively pair granting small comforts with removing others or with tormenting me physically and sexually.

  • And then after I've suffered and when I feel weak and small, praise-bomb me and make me feel special. Talk to me about vanilla life. Intimacy and cute chatting can be powerful manipulation, too.

I'm not an unwilling "victim"; I may be scared or plead and beg, but I do my best to be a collaborative participant, working to overcome my own psychological barriers and be broken or shaped in mutually desired ways. I know the risks and extent manipulation can go to. I'm very communicative and will always share what's going through my head. You can always trust me to communicate if there's a problem. I want those I play with to know it's safe to push me, because I need to be pushed hard. With aftercare, often I want to keep feeling the emotions; but praise me, even if that's to manipulatively reinforce the suffering as making you proud.

๐Ÿ”นLimits: My limits vary by how much I trust a partner to be there to help put me back together after breaking me; nothing is really off the table. My only universal limit is no permanent physical harm or intentional long lasting marks/cuts. And with tech dom, don't block messaging apps or read DMs with others--I can't disrupt the communities I run and others aren't consenting to being monitored.

While "Consensual abuse-like dynamics" are a kink and it's one of several classic potential parts of the cycle of abuse, rejection and abandonment threats push me away and break fascination, not make me want to please to keep you. Instead, the secret to "break" me is getting me to fully trust you'll be there: Tell me I'm valued property that makes you proud. Catch me when I fall after you drop me, and hold my hand through the discomforts you cause. Let me see you as safety from the torment you have every power to stop. Let me know and internalize that, genuinely, I am safe to give myself over to you.

๐Ÿ”น Something that makes me stand out?: My pink hair! No but, really, I'm very communicative and will always share, verbosely, what's going through my head to give you access to what technology cannot. That means you can always trust me to communicate if there's a problem. I want those I play with to know it's safe to push me, because I want to be pushed hard.

๐Ÿ”นCommunication frequency?: Privilege-controlling D/s requires frequent chat. Some talk (not necessarily tasks!) daily is nice. If you're busy just tell me so I know--it's very important to me to know how you're doing with things and touch-in, too!

๐Ÿ”นAftercare needs? Often I want to keep feeling the emotions; but praise me, manipulative or otherwise. Hanging out talking in a private or public VC after intense play can be nice. Chocolate, blankets, water.

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Profile updated: 3 days ago
Posts updated: 4 months ago

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a female
Age
32
Looking For
anyone
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Posted
4 months ago