I've been thinking about this long and hard and I think my dysphoria stems from lacking having a mentor. Someone who I can turn to for the simplest to the biggest questions. Something as small as what size(s) one piece swimsuits I should get, to something big like romantic relationship questions. I don't have that from either a cis or trans woman. It's been frustrating for me. And with me living in a red state, there's very few opportunities to connect with other trans women IRL. Yes there are queer and lesbian meet groups in my city that are open to trans women, but I'd be the only trans woman.Yes there's a lgbtq center in the city I'm in but their transgender group meets via zoom. I'm an old school in person type. And sadly I've mostly come across trans women here that don't want to help someone who is below their passable level. So it just has been rough. It's not going to prevent me from continuing my journey though.