This isn't necessarily a personals ad. This post is meant only to record my current feelings.

I've been giving some thought about what kind of guy I would like to meet. I love the younger guys especially the twinks! A smooth, hairless guy gets my blood pumping. But the more I think about it the less I think a younger guy would be very good for me. Yeah they tend to be really horny, which wouldn't be bad in my book, or my bed. But I think we would not have very compatible goals with sex. Younger guys want to get off and this tends to dominate their thoughts. As someone who's older I see sex more as a means and less as an end. I'm not judging. Your age dictates your priorities. I wish young guys all the sex they can stand, but I realize there aren't too many who are aware of anything much beyond the orgasm.

But I keep an open mind and if the right young guy comes around and there's mutual interest I won't turn him down. Same with a guy around my age.

But what has really been exciting me lately is the thought of being with an older guy! As the reader might know, I've never been with a guy and I've been struggling with my sexuality for years. It's been about two years since I've formally admitted my bisexuality to myself. I never considered older guys and frankly never got turned on by the idea. But with my admission I fortunately opened my mind some more.

There are two kinds of guys/relationships that interest me:

1. Master
2. Daddy

My homosexual fantasies usually have me be submissive to some degree. A Master would be great for indulging that tendency. The thought of giving up total control to a man who will make me do things I might not have ever thought of and challenge me to new thoughts excites me. Freeing me from my identity and dignity might help me reach something in me I never knew existed. It's an exciting proposition to me. I've been repressed and done without for so long I'm ready to be made a shameless bitch.

On the other hand being with someone who wishes to mentor me on a more personal level would be an exciting experience too, I imagine. Someone who's been around the block a few times more than me will probably understand where I'm coming from, and where I'd like to go. And someone who's willing to hold my hand (at least metaphorically) and try to understand me as a person would make me happy. I admit a dad bod would not take away from that charm. And of course kisses.

So I'm looking for a mind fuck, but also for someone to make love to me.

But today I'm more in the mood to be in an older man's arms, both of us naked of course, and have him reassure me my homosexual desires are just as valid and permissible as my heterosexual ones. Eventually I want him to show me the pleasure and intimacy only another man can give to me. And his desire for me would validate my feelings as well as make me feel great that he finds me sexy.

A steamy, passionate night with an older man is definitely on my bucket list. I look forward to that night...and hopefully many more!