Hey everyone - bisexual female here in a beautiful relationship with a man. We are very sexually adventurous and he is starting to open up to me about some fantasies. Our sex life is extremely active, he orgasms regularly with me and seems to be very satisfied with me as a partner. I’m bisexual (out to friends and family but keep it to myself professionally) and currently am insanely in love with him.

I love the idea of a MMF threesome - it’s one of my fantasies involving him that regularly gets me off, beyond my own FFM stuff. Since being with me, he’s started getting comfortable with prostate play. He also finally opened up to me about orgasming to the idea of sucking cock or being fucked - which was EXTREMELY surprising (but extremely hot and I love it)! He has always been adamant about being straight.

He also confessed to watching MMF porn and wanting to be spit-roasted. He claims to only fantasize about cock, not the man, and to not be into kissing. I strongly, strongly feel that he is bisexual but just repressed with a lot of internal homophobia. I would never put that label on him until he is ready for it - I know how difficult it is to figure out your own sexuality. But there is clearly a lot of brutally repressed same sex attraction there that I know in my gut he is grappling with.

The day after we sexted about his MMF fantasy, he kept saying things about how his fantasy was “fucked up” or dirty, and how nobody can ever find out. I’m saddened by this and I don’t know how to help him without scaring him back into the closet. I would never share his fantasies external to our sex life.

He seems in shock that he admitted to me that he does fantasize about men. Obviously there is a lot here to process and as someone with bisexual tendencies, I empathize deeply.

Does anyone have any tips on how I can support him? I’m getting the sense that he may plunge back into the closet and pretend that this is all fantasy (and compartmentalize it in his head again). Obviously I would like to create the safest space possible for him. It took me years to understand my own bisexuality (I still struggle with it) and given his extremely homophobic upbringing (jock, etc) I think he is totally terrified of himself and the social consequences.

I wrote him a long note about how much I hope our relationship can be liberated and open and sexual, and how unbelievably sexy he is to me, but unfortunately I think that scared him. I will obviously drop the issue until he’s ready again but I feel sad that he’s so scared to share his body’s true desires with me.

I just want to be the most supportive partner possible and I’m not sure how to do that.

TLDR: BF has bisexual fantasies, admitted to watching bisexual porn and enjoying cocks, seems to be creeping back into the closet after admitting it to me. Any tips on how to support him would be amazing.