I have made previous posts on something similar to this and people have been great with helping me and giving me advice which I truly appreciate.

I’ve been single for 4 years now. In them 4 years I’ve experienced same sex with men. I’ve not felt good after it every single time. I feel like it’s not for me, that is until I get horny again. Even before I meet with the person I’m hooking up with I feel bad. I haven’t done it in months before last night. Hooked up with someone I trust and have done it with before ( just oral). Going to meet him and during it I just felt bad and off, same exact feelings after. I just feel like it’s not worth it. But I don’t know how to stop.

I don’t know why I do it to myself. Self worth is in the gutter. It’s something I brought up in therapy and was told I could feel bad and slightly ashamed incase people found out, worried what others would think etc . Now I do accept this side of me and what I have done in the past, call me bi I don’t mind labels.

I’m aware of what people call a bi-cycle, where your feelings could go away and come back but it’s been like this from the very start. It’s more the sexual release I’m after. Just easier with men. And I feel worse after. It’s not worth it and I done know how to navigate/ come to terms with these feelings. I think if I had more self esteem I wouldn’t act out on my desires to Just get off.

100% genuine here. If anyone can relate I’d love to hear it. Thank you :)