Apologies ahead of time, but this is a bit of a rambling missive… but I just wanted to share.

I’ve only bottomed with two men - regular partners that I’d been with for a while before trying it - but each time I was surprised to find myself continuing to be the dominant sexual partner despite being in a (what I always assumed was a ) traditionally submissive position.

I imagine this is what the ‘power bottom’ term is referring to. I don’t know if it’s this way for others, but I get a somewhat conflicting emotional pleasure out of bottoming.

First, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed presenting myself and how getting into a position that I expected to make me feel vulnerable, yet it did nothing of the sort. It may not be a proper comparison at all but I suddenly felt like the male version of an extremely desirable woman who knows she can get a guy to be interested in her sexually whenever and however she wants. My partner’s desire when I bent over and shook my ass in a tease was vibrantly palpable. My god, I felt desired and empowered and, well… in charge. I felt like the sexiest man alive.

I had been hesitant initially to move to bottoming - despite being extremely curious about trying it - out of fear of pain but also because I’m a traditionally dominant person in the bedroom with partners of any gender or sexuality. I couldn’t wrap my head around being vulnerable but still comfortable. Turns out I never felt vulnerable at all. The first time I ended up riding my partner after a uncomfortable attempt at the doggy position (is that the position you call it when top/bottoming as well or am I missing the term used between men?) and that felt more natural for someone who likes to be in charge. I figured later that it was probably equal parts emotional/psychological and discomfort control that first time.

But the second time I had to let myself relax and decide to go with the flow and however it works best. Turns out that once I stopped worrying about things; I just took control of my experience and had an amazing time.

To be clear, I’m not a strongly dominant partner. I definitely don’t enjoy power play, but rather I just happen to end up always being the one who initiates, guides, controls, etc., play. For a long time I didn’t even realize I was that kind of lover, mostly because I do it subtly. But, I love how much bottoming is a mix of being a desired item without having to let go of my desired sexual role.

Just a bit of a thought.