Hey i am new here , so today is my birthday, i want to just release some deep feelings here, This has been buried in my mind for years, I am a short, shy, quiet guy and i am in a relationship with a guy for many years , since I was growing up, guys are either mean to me or like me, i am 5 ft 1 , and I am a naturally skinny smooth body type of guys , i got bullied bad in my teens ( like boys don't let me use boys washroom and called me names) , but in other hand , some guys like hugging me and touching me, in my deep mind I do like women, but i am insecure of my body, i have been a 102 lbs weight and when i was in college, mostly gay people coming to me, and also older gay people, so that time i think I am gay, because i never truely date girls, and guys always come to ask me out, i enjoyed being a small brother and a good buddy, as i am a well behaved and Mr nice guy, so i have many gay /guys friends, but i still sometimes feel like I am Missing something, i had a few girls do like me when i was in highschool because they think i am " cute " and i played piano and also in choir so i was kind of popular, but as a guy , I never actually touch a woman body, i actually still nervous to talk to woman, and i always feel sad of my skinny smooth body doesn't like a "manly " guy , I don't know is there a bi couple I can be friends to, and we can chat and share this, I never think i will do much to a female but i am kind of craving just wondering what is a female body like and i can gently touch or give a massage and i don't mind we guys fool around or hang out and watch a game or just be friends, because I am more comfortable with guys , however this is like a dream, because I am so shy and i never tell my partner about this , I still sometimes look at woman body or straight porn , but i think i am too chicken to do that because i am also a small size guy and being alone with a woman just too nervous, i am more comfortable with guys overall, sometimes it is kind of bothering me and I hope i can just sharing this here, don't know anyone like me ? But thank you for reading it or any input,thank you so much .