My ex called me and apologized for his behavior. He is not fully taking responsibility yet as he blames it on DID rather than mania. He said it was his other personalities and he cannot remember some stuff (he’s bipolar he does not have DID).

Anyways, I told him his actions were unacceptable. However, I understand his illness has caused this and I still love him (unromantically), forgive him, and want to see him happy. After all, I’m watching him suffer and it feels like if I were to go off in him I would be stabbing a wounded puppy.

I told that to someone I know who has bipolar and they were pretty firm that my ex is not a wounded puppy, he’s a grown man who made bad decisions. He said he needs to take responsibility for them.

But I’m wondering what does that mean? To me it’s like when they’re sick their brain is misfiring and being wacky. It would be like asking someone with dementia to remember something. Should a person with dementia apologize for not remembering? I know he definitely should apologize but I’m struggling to understand to what extent was he actually fully in control of his actions? Were his actions his true unfiltered desires?

I prayed a lot to God about it. My ex just called me out of the blue so it caught me off guard. Part of me wishes I told him exactly the damage he’s done. Maybe I was too soft with him? Im struggling to understand