My BPSO is BP1, diagnosed last August. She has been taking meds for a while now but still experiences manic and depressive episodes. She actually cheated on me recently, and I chose to still forgive her and give the relationship another chance because I loved her that much to understand that she did not wish to hurt me in that way. I still feel a lot of pain and anxiety, but I have been using so much of my strength to move forward in spite of how badly I want to shut myself off from everyone.

I've been feeling so tired and depressed lately. I myself am diagnosed with BP2 and Borderline Personality Disorder, and I've also been doing the work to manage my own symptoms. I've been so stressed with my work, my studies, and figuring out my life. Now, I feel that I also need to adapt to my role as her primary source of emotional support. I don't regret being with her, neither do I wish to stop supporting her. But there are times when I struggle so much and I need her, but I need to keep things to myself because she deals with much more on her plate when it comes to her mental and physical health.

I wish that the world would just stop for a while. I'm so exhausted beyond measure and I wish someone would just show some understanding and care towards my own struggles. It's so hard. I feel like I'm so alone with dealing with my life, and I can't even share all of this with my partner.