My wife has worked overseas before (while we were married). Lately things have been rough (she was depressed, then I was depressed, then she had an affair, then I left, then we sort of reconciled but not really). Over the holidays, she was in touch with the overseas gig about going back there for a full season. During the affair, she texted the AP about how fun the place is and that he should consider visiting there sometime. And since then, with me, she has mentioned a few times about wanting to go take a gig there. Last night she was (playfully) expressing concern that the indoor plants might not survive if she went abroad (I had under-watered some of them last time she left). It was light-hearted, but my radar is on high alert. Is she setting me up for a discard? Some kind of a soft landing? Or am I reading too much into this?

And yes, I know that her infidelity is inexcusable and I need to run and get divorced asap. That’s not really what I’m asking about here because, in short, I don’t have the money or the mindset to go that route just yet.

Edit for context: she is only recently diagnosed w bipolar, plus anhedonia and dysthymia. She has been taking medications as far as I know.

For further context: as I have tried to understand more, I first sought answers in the narcissist subs, then the borderline subs, and now here. Some of her behaviors could easily fit in any or multiple of those categories. I know that if I were to ask this question in the Borderline sub, the answer would be a resounding 'Yes, they warn before they discard'. But her diagnosis is bipolar, so I am trying to understand more in that context. Hence bringing the question here to this sub.