As we all know, BP can lead to long term financially damaging choices.

As I look for the 4th paycheck in a row to see that scheduled payments are not allowing us to pay the electric bill, I just can't help but feel resentment that my BPSO is unable to contribute very much, while I shoulder so much more of the load in everyday life terms.

In response, I get deflection, denial, or melodramatic self-abasement. I just need her to set REALISTIC ways for me to help. Like her original idea, miss work to do this at 9am on Thursdays....

What's wrong with 7pm on ANY night of the week. That way I'm not compounding my stress load in dealing with this.

Oh, and the cavalier attitude regarding my job, our main, necessary income that somehow is not gaining because of severe impulse spending sprees. If I lose this one, I won't find anything as good. We can't fuck it up but her damn self-destructive tendencies are always lurking in the background.

I just need to rant, commiserate, and listen to people who make this work without going to a dark place when it comes to trying to get their BPSO to not poor gas on fires (figuratively, she's not a pyro LOL)

Note: I'm not asking what to do about it, but how to manage resentment that this condition has so negatively impacted our lives for so long. That sentiment can be venomous to one's self as much as to one's partner.

I know the only two "solutions" are either a collar or divorce papers, but I keep appealing to her better angels and it works out 9 times out of 10.

She's never cheated, she's never tried to break up, and while I want to berate her Mom for imprinting lousy coping mechanisms in her; she had those issues when I married her.

She needs to fix herself, I'm here for me.