My girlfriend is in a deep mania. I had gone to see her and check in on her. We had a chat a week prior to my arrival and I said I felt weird about us. Something didn't seem okay with her and I decided it was my paranoia.

I wasn't being paranoid. She just went hostile on me at her place. Just verbally. I tried to talk her down a bit and she was so weird to me. I recognized her face but not the person wearing it. She was extremely rude to me and was all over the board on what's she wanted to do. She had got back from a class and she said a friend told her to at least grab a coffee with me. I think that friend knew she wasn't right in the head. I appreciate his efforts too.

She decided to drive me out somewhere to eat. We shared and I paid. When we got in the car she wanted to go do more with me around the city, but then she started randomly inserting that I was taking all of her time. That she had more important things to do and her life was better alone and without me. I didn't go into her place and I kept my distance because I felt like she could become so delusional about who I am to her. Anyways down a block and on my way back home, I stopped and just fell to the ground sobbing in defeat. I tried. I called her again, thinking I had not done all I actually could do, but that wasn't it. I continued to call her and she picked up. She kept hanging up on me and screaming at me. I wanted to get through to her. It didn't work. She called the cops on me.

I knew the cops from the last time I called for a wellness check on her. We hit it off well and they were kind to me. Don't think anyone usually gets a ride a cop car to go home. Lol! Humor to a terrible time.

When we got to my destination, the cop stopped me and said something like hey she's grown up now. There's not much we can do until she's really going to do something bad or has done something bad or just goes so nuts that she needs the help. She was writing on her walls. It may be bad right now but if you still want her around you have to understand she is her own person. You can't help those that do not want it. Give her a few weeks.

I don't know how to really take that and it's not an exact quote but it sort of helped. I asked if she had said she wanted to file a restraining order and they said they didn't hear anything about that. Rough.

Anyways this was the lengthiest story.

It's been roughly a month since she ghosted. It was our dang 1 year and she just lost her mind on me. I want to celebrate a milestone in our very extraordinary relationship.

I am hanging on but it seems like she's just gone. It feels so finalized. She doesn't want me at all. It's hard to think about it. She did this early on into the relationship and I was extremely confused. Ended up finding out she is bipolar and it was a bad dip for her.

I want to let her know I'm here even when she isn't. That I'm available to her and even if she is overly rude during her bipolar spikes I'm going to ignore it and try to move beyond it. It happens but hey I'm not going to ghost her. I'm here. I understand. Her love, our love, is way more than this.