I met up with my ex 2 weekends ago to discuss the house. She went manic last summer while buying a house and left me. Lots of cheating throughout the relationship was discovered. She was diagnosed bipolar.

I had heard she crashed sometime late last year but what I was met with was a mixed state version of her. It went as well as it could of expected but I was told about more serious cheating (multiple times) that I wasn’t aware of.

I’ve been an emotional mess since seeing her, a big part of that was feeling the manipulation and narcissism. I wondered who this person was and why they didn’t go away after her episode.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks…. There is a lot of talk on here about how after each episode they change and I kept trying to think how ‘she’ … the girl who was the most caring, loving individual I had ever met would of done all of this.

The truth is a year before that big episode this summer she had another episode she hid from everyone and that’s when all that behaviour started. She just didn’t come back from it. It just got worse and worse until she finally snapped. Nobody noticed as the changes were gradual and easily hidden.

It was horrifying to hear her say she doesn’t like the person she is becoming. I no longer believe that some people with BP are just assholes and there personality is at play. I truly believe she was such a beautiful soul who has just been ravaged by this illness.

So here I sit, whiskey in hand. Wondering how such a thing can happen to somebody so beautiful. It really is like a death….