I know I am going through a bad episode. I know I am going to end up doing something bad. I haven’t self harmed in a really long time or thought about suicide in so long but something triggered this and now my mind cannot fucking rest, I can’t just have ONE single though to focus on it’s all over the place, I can’t stop myself from doing things I’m not suppose to do, I feel like I’m going to break I feel like I’m going to leave. I don’t know what to do I don’t have a psychiatrist or family doctor, I can’t tell my mom because she doesn’t see me. I havent taken medication in years and I’ve just been self medicating and I know it’s so bad. I feel like I want to scream and cry and leave this world, I literally CAN’T sleep and my brain is affecting my work life affecting everything. I need help but I’m so scared to reach out, Ive always done this by myself I’ve gotten over everything by myself. I don’t know what to do, I’m stuck. How do I save myself