Hi, I'm panicking.

I know everything will probably be fine but I can't rationalize that it will be, so I'm hoping someone on here can bring me some comfort.

I'm set to graduate in a month, and I've work so hard over the past two years to bring up my GPA after a rough sophomore year, so I can have a better shot at getting into a good grad program. I had decided to wait to apply to any programs so I could continue to bring up my GPA during my senior spring semester, and honestly so I could have a year of my youth to not have to stress over school.

Here is where my panic is kicking in, this pandemic is really killing my academic performance. I have some pretty horrible anxiety, and the combination of world events, existing mental health issues, and school, have left me in a ball of constant anxiety and depressive episodes. I'm not exaggerating when I say I've been crying for two hours over one comp chem assignment I just can't figure out, and the feeling of inadequacy that followed. I'm struggling to keep up with assignments and material, which is something I've never had an issue with before.

I'm worried my grades are not going to be where I had originally planned... I know I would be in a much better spot gradewise if life were normal, I had nearly a 4.0 last semester (I earned a B in a 1 credit course 😤) and was planning on reaching my 4.0 goal this semester. The way things are looking right now I doubt I'll be getting that 4.0.

It's too late to take my classes pass/fail, and I should have taken that option but at the time I felt as though I would be able to handle the work independently with out a problem. Clearly I overestimated how well I was going to handle life during this pandemic, and I'm freaking out about the prospects of grad school. I know for a fact there are going to be so many students out there that will have grades for this semester that show they can work well under pressure, and since I opted out of pass/fail, if my grades tank I fear it'll be like a flare that I am unable to handle the pressure of a graduate program.

On top of all this I was planning on taking the GRE this summer and it was cancelled, so I don't even have that under my belt yet 😞 Uhg, I regret not applying last fall, but hindsight is 20:20.

I guess I'm hoping someone out there might have an idea as to how grad programs might be addressing this spring semester for their applicants. Or suggestions on how I could address my grades for this semester if they do drop. I know most universities automatically switched to a pass/fail grading scale, so there must be some sort of adjustment that will be implemented for future applicants.

Thanks for reading, and if you're in the same boat I hope you find comfort in knowing you're not alone