I'm on a cruise with my family right now, and it's all in all been a very fun week. However, my binge eating has been nagging at me all week. Ive been eating three square (albeit definitely larger than average) meals every day and because of the size of the meals combined with a healthy dose of alcohol/drinks, I've ended most days with bad acid reflux that has hampered my ability to stay out at night. For context, I have stomach issues that make me incredibly bloated, reflux-y, and sometimes vomit, especially if I eat too much (I'm looking into GERD).

Im sitting right now on the last night of the cruise after getting through the worst bout of the week, and all I can fucking think about is how I should go to the buffet for more food. Will it send me right back into a reflux, bloated, bedridden state? Absolutely. Am I really fighting it? Also absolutely. I feel so disgusting, so gluttonous, so terrible and I've felt this way all week, but tonight's a low point. And despite all this guilt, all my brain thinks is how I should go get food. I hate this so much. Especially because I'm not entirely positive I won't get food - and I know I should listen to my body, but I dont feel hungry, i just feel like I need food in my mouth if that makes sense?

I'm sorry if this isn't the right kind of post here, I'll happily delete it, i just needed to get this off my chest.