Warning: this may be triggering, as I go into great detail about my experiences with binge eating

I have to stop this pattern. I feel awful right now, even worse earlier today. Last night, I binged way more than I usually do. I even did something to help me have more of an appetite, since I was already feeling full, but wanted to eat more. My guts have been so messed up today because of it. I've struggled with binge eating for as long as I can remember, even as far back as 7 or 8 years old (I'm 26 now). It's been on and off throughout the years, and it's definitely on right now. I've been spending so much money on junk food, especially snacks. Sometimes, I've been eating just the snack foods in place of a meal. It's getting out of hand.

I'm so tired of dealing with all of it. I want to stop overstuffing myself, dealing with an upset stomach, extra trips to the bathroom, feeling guilty, and not feeling my best. It's significantly affecting my life. I can't do everything that I want to with my kids, because of all the physical effects of binge eating. I also don't want to be setting a bad example for them, I don't want them to have a disordered relationship with food like I do.

I'm on Reddit a few times a week, I usually try to find a subreddit when I'm really interested in a topic, or need help with a certain issue. So that's what has brought me here. I hate that so many others deal with this as well, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone in this. It's been isolating. I haven't shared the full extent of my binge eating with anyone except for my psychiatrist. Not because I don't trust them, but because of the shame, and worrying that they won't understand. However, I'm going to have a conversation with my boyfriend about it soon. I really think he should know, and I know that he'll support me however he can.

So yeah, that's my introduction haha. I'm looking forward to getting/giving support in this community, and I'm excited to begin this journey!