After seeing people going crazy on Facebook over the latest Vibrio scare, I'd like to say a few things.

What is Vibrio vulnificus?

Lots of people just call it Vibrio, and I will too, but you should know that it's a cousin of Vibrio cholerae, the bacteria that's responsible for cholera. Anyway, V. vulnificus is kind of rare, and people have a name for cholera, so we'll just stick with Vibrio here.

V. vulnificus is a bacteria that lives in warm brackish water. It has nothing to do with our crappy muddy looking water, it's over in that crystalline Florida water, too. It floats around everywhere underwater, like an awful little underwater mosquito.

How do I contract a Vibrio infection?

First, you typically have to be immunocompromised. Healthy bodies are pretty darn good at fighting off Vibrio before it does any actual damage.

Are you:

• old?
• very young?
• pregnant?
• afflicted with an immunodeficiency disease, such as HIV?
• on chemotherapy?
• a recipient of an organ transplant?
• diabetic?
• the owner of a diseased or damaged liver?

If you've said no to all of these things, you're probably not immunocompromised. Ask your doctor if you're not sure.

Next, have you:

• submerged an open wound in warm saltwater?
• eaten raw oysters?
• gotten cut by something in the water or previously in the water, such as a fish's spine?

If you've said no to all of these things, you've not really exposed yourself to Vibrio in a way that would allow you to get infected. If you've eaten cooked oysters, cooked fish, uncooked fish, cooked crustaceans, or uncooked crustaceans, you have nothing to worry about. (Well, Vibrio-wise anyway.) If you've played in the water without open wounds and did not cut yourself while in the water, you should be fine.

I only eat oysters that smell like the fresh salt air. Surely I can't get infected by Vibrio, right?

Are you healthy? Probably not. Are you immunocompromised? Then, eh, maybe. Vibrio does not have a distinctive odor or taste. Healthy people ingest it all the time! You should probably lay off the raw oysters if you are immunocompromised.

Oh @$*& I cut myself out on the water. Am I going to die?

First off, pull out your first aid kit. You do keep one of those with your tackle box or beach bag, right? Wipe a little antibiotic ointment or rubbing alcohol on the wound and slap a bandage on it. Keep an eye on yourself, and if you start feeling flu-ish (see next section), get to your doctor or an ER ASAP and notify them that you think it may be Vibrio. It's such a crazy rare infection (only 90 cases a year reported to the CDC!) that a lot of doctors don't know what it looks like. The symptoms are also pretty generalized, so it can be hard to treat this dangerous bacteria if the docs think it's simple food poisoning.

What are the symptoms?

If you got it from a cut, the cut's going to be looking preeeeetty nasty by now. Whether you got it from a cut or eating raw oysters, you probably have a fever and are sick to your stomach, possibly having diarrhea and/or vomiting. Please go see a doctor and inform them that you think it may be Vibrio.

TL;DR: You're probably not going to catch Vibrio.