How in the world could you be such an idiot to rip down the fence and go in there anyway? Yes, you, lady in the pink swimsuit sunning herself out on Biloxi Beach today. You're an idiot.

Look, I know it's summer and the kids are out of school and the beaches are getting packed. And ooh, look at this nice bit of beach. There's no one here. Let's set up here. What's this orange fence all about? Ah, just ignore it. Nests? I don't see any nests on this beach. Psh, damn hippies.

A least tern nest doesn't look like a regular twiggy bird nest. You can't just avoid it easily. No, a least tern just scratches out a little pit in the sand and lays its beige speckled eggs in there. I repeat: it lays its sand-looking eggs in the sand. They're super easy to accidentally step on. Oh, and birds don't like it when humans hang around their nests too long. They'll leave the nest if they perceive a threat. That's why we ask you and your rambunctious child to keep out.

Speaking of rambunctious child, did I tell you the story that my ornithologist friend told me? He pulled up to the beach once and there was a kid running to a big pile of pebbles, dumping one in, and running back. The guy realized in horror that they weren't pebbles, they were least tern eggs. By the time that he got out there, the eggs had baked. 750 least terns, gone just like that. Least terns sit on their eggs to keep them cool, not keep them warm, and if they can't find their eggs or their nest, those babies die. Yeah, congrats, your little rugrat just killed a bunch of cute baby birds. But no, you thought that nice big bit of beach would be just perfect for your munchkin to play in while you got some sun. You monster.

There is NO excuse. There are barricades. There are signs. Plus, the beach looks like crap there because they don't rake the sand. Hell, I'd hope that in your peasized brain you'd realize, "Wow, this part of the beach looks really different, and we're getting dive-bombed by all of these teensy sea gulls. Maybe we should leave." But no, you just stayed there.

I know that we big, bad humans have to show our dominance over our cute animal friends or they won't know who's boss anymore, but please, can we preserve this nesting habitat? It's a really nice thing that Harrison County lets the birds do. But it's doing no good if you're going in there, scaring the birds away from their nests, and destroying their eggs.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?