(i don’t mean to offend anyone if i do i just don’t know how to describe this)

I, 23f, have been interested in lesbian porn since i can remember. the women just look like they are so much more satisfied and it turns me on more than straight it porn does. I don’t know if it’s internalized homophobia cause i’m scared of what people might think. I find some women attractive but is that just thinking someone is pretty. i think/fantasize about having sex with a women and everything about it. I’ve traded nudes with women, sexted with women, basically everything except actually do anything with a woman irl.

I’ve always wanted to but have been too scared to. like what if i’m bad, or what if i don’t actually like it and it’s been a fantasy. and i don’t want someone to feel “used” as me “experimenting” but idek what to do. i live in a somewhat small town where even if i go on tinder or anything ill come across someone i know.

any tips/advice/ literally anything for me to try and navigate this mess in my brain.