Having come out as bi recently within a hetero-presenting marriage and growing up with a lot of conservative Christian friends, I (32F) find myself in many scenarios where people say this to me, and I don’t know how to react.

The first time this happened was in therapy, where my Christian therapist insisted she was saying this to help me feel “normal”. When I explained how upsetting this statement could be, she doubled down that I knew her intentions were pure, and that her statement is statistically likely. Ultimately I left her because I couldn’t tolerate her refusal to apologize.

Second time was at a wedding where the group of groomsmen was joking about the Kinzie scale during cocktail hour. As we were leaving later that night, one of the girls brought it up kinda randomly and whispered again “everyone is a bit bi right?” I can clearly see in this context, she’s sending out a feeler to see how accepted she would be as bi bc she comes from a conservative family. In this scenario, I wanted to take her hand and say… “I have something to tell you about your sexuality” 😅 but also, she also doesn’t realize what her words mean to a bi person.

How do you react when people say this? Do you try to take it in context and be gentle with your approach? Do you have different expectations of people or do you just shrug and move on?