hey y'all, it's my first time posting here so please bare with me :) i posted this on the main r/bisexual subreddit as well but i thought it'd be better to hear from women-aligned folks directly too so here goes nothing.

i [afab nb, 21] have identified as a lesbian for about four years now, but now i'm questioning i might be bisexual instead~?

i do wanna preface this by saying that i'm aromantic, which means i experience (little to) no romantic attraction to others, so i'll be mostly talking about sexual attraction here, and perhaps emotional attraction/intimacy from a non-romantic angle.

i've been comfortable with ID'ing as a lesbian for the last couple of years, but recently i've been fantasizing (and dreaming) about being physically (and emotionally) close with men, in both sexual and non-sexual ways. had you asked me a year or two ago how i'd feel about that, and i'd probably be disgusted but now the idea of it has me kinda intrigued?

the reason why i say disgusted is because i have a history of csa, and admittedly it has negatively impacted my perception of men, my relationship with men and masculinity as a whole. i didn't think me ID'ing as lesbian was linked to the suppression of my (possible) attraction to men, but now i'm thinking it might have after all~? i don't know.

i'm aware that PIV isn't the only way to have sex, and the idea of having non-PIV sex with a man whom i find attractive and feel safe with does intrigue me, however the thought of having a phallus inside me or touching it with my hands frankly scares me and makes me very uncomfortable.

having said that, i know that to be bisexual doesn't mean your attraction to men and women has to be split dead center. i think for now i still favor women strongly (90/10) but that (10) i'm holding onto still feels like i'm going off of hypotheticals, especially since i've never actually felt sexual attraction toward a man in real life. but at the same time it feels too present at the forefront of my mind to disregard.

any thoughts, advice, prayers (lol)?