Hey everyone! I’m a lesbian female (28) and I have been seeing my married bisexual girlfriend (38) for a year now. Her husband knows about everything and is accepting of it all.

My gf and I have had many amazing moments together and she’s practically my best friend too at this point. Sometimes we get confused of the label and go from “friends with benefits” or then call each other “girlfriends” because we do both have strong feelings for each other at this point and we have built a genuine connection and we tell each other I love you now.

We have been through a lot the past year and had some ups and downs but we are magnetic to each other and agreed we always want each other in both our lives even if we end up as just besties while I go out there and find my soulmate if she ends up not being that for me since she has a husband and considers him her soulmate and our entire relationship is complicated. But I do want her to be my person and for her to consider me her female soulmate since her hubby is a male and it’s a different vibe and relationship she has with him.

I know for a fact my gf & her husband love each other truly and they have kids and have been together for almost 10 years. They agreed they will always be together no matter what and I would never want to break them up anyways. But the issue with me is, I struggle to share my gf with her husband because it emotionally stresses me out and I feel jealous when I see them having loving moments together or do things without me.

She wears sexy outfits for him, they do lots of things together, they have sex often, they live together and sleep in the bed every night while I am living separately away and sleep alone every night. It sucks that I don’t live with her and even if I did, and move in with them, I’d still have to share her with her man and I’ll never have her all to myself. I’m normally a monogamous girl and just want a normal relationship. Sometimes I wonder why I got myself into this situation because now I literally am in love with her and it hurts and idk what to do.

The other day, I noticed on her Snapchat she has a private story called “for your eyes only” And the only person added to it was her husband. And when I seen that I immediately felt jealous and somewhat hurt and I wish that she did that for me. It’s clearly a private story she made just for her man’s eyes and posts sexy, flirty pics/vids and nudes to it so her husband can enjoy and I bet he feels special. Although her and I send each other snaps here and there and I have gotten some sexy stuff before but she never dedicated a special private story just for my eyes only for only me as her gf to see..she has that for her man and I can’t help but feel bothered by it.

I also saw a photo of them naked in bed smiling the same moment I saw the story literally the morning before she came to hangout with me. That also made me jealous and she knows I saw it as I made a sound effect like “ooouu” while she swiped it away quickly in the same moment I saw her private story. I also saw texts where they said I love you to each other and although I know all of this as I said, I’m aware they love each other and have a normal marriage regardless of me being her girlfriend and I know that she loves me too, but I just can’t help but feel jealous when I see these things

I did not confront her about seeing this story and she knows I saw it because she was holding her phone next to me when she accidentally clicked on it and saw that I saw but we were out at the beach having a good time and we just acted like that didn’t happen and I didn’t say a word about it, neither did she and I continued to act normal with her although I was sooo jealous and felt some type of way after seeing that, I wanted to be mad but didn’t want to ruin our day. I felt like I had no right to start an argument or even bring it up because I knew from day 1 that she has a husband and that her relationship with him is normal so who am I to get mad although she calls me her girlfriend. He’s cool enough to let her have me as her girlfriend as a married woman and doesn’t feel jealous of us together. But I feel jealous of them.

How can I stop feeling jealous of my girlfriend‘s relationship with her husband and to stop comparing myself if she does something for him and doesn’t do it for me?

I would love some advice and positive feedback on how I can go about this or what I should do or if you were once in my shoes.