I am NOT OP. Original post by u/aimlessorange in r/dating_advice

Girl (24f) I am (was?) dating reacted badly when I (25m) accidentally got a boner when we were cuddling. How do I move forward with this? - 24 October 2019

Title pretty much says it all. Have been seeing each other for about 2 months. I've never really dated or had a girlfriend before, never done anything remotely sexual with a girl. I will admit I have been very slow in terms of making moves, and all we have done so far is hugs and brief kisses.

Last night she came to my place and we had dinner and watched a movie. I had the air con turned on and she said she was getting cold. I offered to turn it off, but she asked if we could try cuddling in bed to warm up instead. Obviously, I was keen.

We hoped into bed and she asked if I would spoon her. She explicitly mentioned that she just wanted to cuddle. Well we started spooning and it felt great, but almost immediately I started getting hard. I pretended to get comfy and shuffled my hips a little away from her, but she would just react by snuggling in closer. I kept shuffling away and she kept moving forward. There wasn't really anything I could do, and eventually she noticed it poking her.

She immediately jumps out of the bed and screams at me. She said that she told me that she only wanted to cuddle but I obviously only cared about one thing. I tried to tell her that I wasn't trying to hint at sex and I said I was trying to keep it away from her and it was an accident. She said I shouldn't lie because I am shit at it, and that she was not ready for sex yet and she made it clear but I didn't respect her boundaries. Communication pretty much just broke down at that point because she started bawling, and ended up going home in an uber.

I texted her today to apologize and that I didn't mean anything by it. She just responded that she is disappointed because she thought I was different than most guys and was willing to wait until she was ready. She isn't responding now since she went to work.

Where do I go from here? How to I recover from this situation and make things better? I honestly swear I had no I'll intentions or wasn't trying to pressure her into sex, just an accidental unwanted boner. I have been crying on and off and I honestly just want to make this right and move past this. Help!

Edit: thanks everyone for the responses. I am trying to read every one of them but still have like 150 to go. Just to update you guys, she replied to my text after she got off work. We are meeting tomorrow to talk it over. I have a lot to think about before then.

UPDATE: Girl (24f) I am (was?) dating reacted badly when I (25m) accidentally got a boner when we were cuddling. How do I move forward with this? - 27 October 2019

Apologies for the delay with this update. I have been pretty upset and really wasn't in the mood to write this. For those who only care to know about the result: we broke up.

The amount of comments I got was insane, and I had a lot to think about. I met up with her the day after posting the original. I didn't know what to expect when I saw her. She was surprisingly different to how I expected. She apologized profusely for how she reacted. We talked about how what happened was completely involuntary on my part. She admitted that she didn't understand that you just 'get' boners, she thought that boners happened when a man wants sex. She told me about her ex who was like this. Anytime he got an erection, she was expected to deal with it. She said that one of the reasons she liked me so much was because I didn't try to rush her or pressure her for sex by not making moves on her so quickly.

It seems like her reaction was based on a bad experience with her ex. But as much as I still like her, and as lonely I feel without her, I know that this isn't a relationship that will be healthy for me. She didn't trust me, she refused to listen to me, and honestly I know I can't handle going through something like this again. I felt terrible about the decision, and I still do. She was extremely upset and didn't want to end things over this. She asked if I would reconsider, but it's not something I can do. I have since blocked her number. Not because of anger, but because I know if I talk to her again I will doubt my decision, and my desperation will get the better of my judgement.

I have pretty much been crying since. I have hardly left the bed and I feel like it might be like that for a while. But I am sure I made the right decision, and eventually I will be okay. I don't know if I will ever find another girl again but at least it is better than an unhealthy relationship. Just wanted to thank everyone for their comments. If I didn't post here, I don't think I would have seen things for the way they are and I would have let myself stay in a toxic situation.

Reminder - I am not the original poster.