I am not the original poster. Originally posted by u/trwayyy1718 in r/legaladvice in 2018.

Marked as "Concluded" as there have been no updates for 5 years.

In order to hide the tw & mood spoilers on mobile, I have a new capybara fact: much like rabbits, they eat their own poop for additional nutrition. So admire them from afar, but don't go kissing your local capybara on the mouth!

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tw:suicide

mood:as positive as possible at the end

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My mom commited suicide and now her landlord is threatening to sue me 04 May 2018

Sorry for the grammatical mistakes, I can't type very well now. I'm in CA.

Hello, as the title say, my mom commited suicide about a week ago or so. I've been busy with the funeral/will/life insurance thing and havent been able to open my email.

I did this today and her landlord sent me an email, three days after she died saying that he'll keep the deposit(which I guess is fair) because of the cleaning/painting/fixing the bullet hole, but that he also wants to be reimbursed because the house value will go down after the suicide and that he and the other tenant(my moms roomate) want financial support for emotional damages

He ended the email giving me two weeks to call and negotiate, if not then he'll take to court

I'm gonna be honest, I don't know if I can get into a legal battle right now, I'm barely functioning but the idea of calling and negotiating how much my moms death devaluated the house made me throw up. What should I do?

Notable Comments:

u/RalesBlasband

Hey man, some things I wanna say to you.

First, as a son whose mother killed herself, I'm sorry. It's been almost ten years, and it still hurts. The pain doesn't get better so much as it gets less frequent. But ten years from now you'll be driving to work on a random Tuesday morning and you'll be blindsided by an overwhelming wave of emotion. All you can do is breathe and give it time.

Second, as an attorney who also had to be the executor in such a situation, I can tell you to do the following: retain an estate lawyer, tell the landlord to keep the deposit, to go fuck himself, and to contact your lawyer from here on out. Also, tell the roommate to fuck off. There's a slim to none chance that the estate might be liable for diminution in value of the property, but let the landlord chase the estate.

Third, the proceeds of any insurance policies ARE NOT the property of the estate, they are the property of the beneficiaries. Do not comingle the funds with the estate funds. Claim them and distribute to the beneficiaries immediately.

Fourth, as others have said, you, personally, are not obligated to satisfy any claim on the estate.

Finally, apologies for the language; but in this situation it's warranted.

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u/JamesMcGillEsq

Found this comment on Reddit awhile back when dealing with something. It helped me, I hope it helps you:

Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

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(Update) My mom commited suicide and now her landlord is threatening to sue me 05 May 2018

Hello there, first I would like to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for all the messages, comments and PM's you guys sent. It truly made this process less painful and I'll be forever grateful for each one of you.

Especial shoutout to u/RalesBlasband for his comment, I'm very sorry for your loss but what you said gave a at least a sense of peace. Thank you

I'd also like to thank u/JamesMcGillEsq, that comment gave some interesting perspective to what the future looks like.

I'm afraid I might have come across as cold or rude, if so, it was not on purpose I was just very nervous.

I'm sorry for not responding all of you or not responding sooner, I had to talk to my teachers/employers to figure it out my schedule. The comments telling me to get my moms things out of the house made me super anxious and I couldn't think of anything else.

So I did something stupid and called the roommate(sorry guys), that's when it gets weird... the lady was super nice and so, she told me I could go and get my moms things that night(at least her books/letters/small things) and I decide to approach the matter of the emotional support thing.

Now, I would be willing to help her(or completely) pay for the emotional support she may need, as she was the one who found my mom and, while they weren't super close, were becaming fast friends. I guess I felt more hurt that she decided to send a letter with my landlord.

I said I would be willing to pay but that I thought it had to be separate from the landlord. She didn't know what the hell I was talking about.

Yeah... I explained the email and she was furious. So apparently the landlord lied about that... I asked if she would be willing to talk to my lawyer and make it clear she wasn't asking to financial support and she agreed so I guess we'll see. I have an appointment with lawyer on monday and I'll bring this up to her.

All and all, it's seems like this isn't over but at least it seems like it will go on well. I got my moms things out of the house and the lady was kind enough to keep some of the sentimental things I couldn't take locked in her room.

Once again, thank you guys for all the advice, if it weren't for all of them I'd probably have just called the landlord and try to negotiate.

One last thing, I'll leave the emergency number down there(if it's allowed, if not, mods, please tell me and I'll edit it out). If you're feeling suicidal, like you want to hurt yourself, depressed or emotionless, please reach out. I know it doesn't look like but there are people willing to help, my first post proves that!

Anyone who is in crisis for any reason is encouraged to call. The number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is:

• 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
• To chat online with a national suicide hotline counsellor, click here: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
• See the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
• For the hearing impaired, contact the Lifeline by TTY at: 1-800-799-4889 The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Other Free Suicide Hotlines

There are other free suicide hotlines in the United States for specific populations as well.

• The veterans suicide hotline (Veterans Crisis Line): 1-800-273-8255, press 1 or text to 838255 (available 24 hours a day, seven days a week)
• Veterans Crisis Line online chat: http://www.veteranscrisisline.net/ChatTermsOfService.aspx?account=Veterans Chat
• Veterans Crisis Line website: http://www.veteranscrisisline.net/
• Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning (LGBTQ) Suicide Hotline (the Trevor Lifeline): 1-866-488-7386 (available 24 hours a day, seven days a week)
• TrevorChat online chat: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now (Available 7 days a week (3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET / 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. PT).)
• TrevorText text messaging: Text the word "Trevor" to 1-202-304-1200 (Available on Fridays (4:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. ET / 1:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m. PT)
• The Trevor Project website: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
• Teen suicide hotline (Thursday's Child National Youth Advocacy Hotline): 1-800-USA-KIDS (872-5437) (available 24 hours a day, seven days a week)
• Thursday's Child website (lists many additional teen hotlines): http://www.thursdayschild.org/frames_dedication.htm
• You Matter website: http://www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
• Christian suicide hotline (Christian Suicide Prevention): 1-888-667-5947 or email [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) (available 9:00 p.m. – 1:00 a.m. CT)
• Christian Suicide Prevention website: http://www.christiansuicideprevention.com/

For International Suicide Hotline Callers If you are calling from outside of the United States, these numbers won't be available to you. No matter where you are, though, help is available.

• The International Association for Suicide Prevention: http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres
• Befrienders Worldwide: http://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk

Reminder: I am not the original poster. Originally posted by u/trwayyy1718 in r/legaladvice in 2018.