I am not the original poster. Original poster is u/HokeyPokeyGuestList.

These are posted across u/HokeyPokeyGuestList's private page, as well as r/pettyrevenge.

First posted by u/poopypainpants. First set of posts is here (saga began May 17 2022). Next update is here. Third update is here. OOP provided a chronological set of links to her own posts at the end of the snakes post.

Synopsis: Bucket Woman is obsessed with OOP's yard being up to Bucket Woman's standards. Bucket Woman has been named such by OOP's partner, Martin, because Bucket Woman is fixated on OOP's family moving their trash bins back to their house by 9am because the bins make the street look "messy". Bucket Woman has repeatedly called the police and local council (I assume is sort of like a neighborhood association without the domestic terrorism of an HOA) on false claims against OOP and her family like domestic violence, having dangerous pets, etc. She's also peeped in OOP's windows repeatedly, causing them to set up a motion activated sprinkler system to soak her when she snuck over to spy. Most recently, when OOP's dad and partner came over to do some backyard work for OOP (who is pregnant, injured and very restricted on what she can do) Bucket Woman took it upon herself to try and tell OOP's dad & dad's partner what SHE (Bucket Woman) wanted done in OOP's backyard.

The whole series is worth the read. May Bucket Woman continue to be a nusiance and not actually, you know, set anything on fire or murder someone in her delusion.

Next updates:

Bucket Woman v the snakes (and Robo-sprinkler again) Sept 20, 2022

Still here, still pregnant, and still petty. (I feel like that should be on a t-shirt.) Our new fence goes up next week, so hopefully this is our last hurrah with her visits.

Setting the scene: We can turn off the Robo-Sprinklers to work in the front garden, but this involves accessing the garden tap from the back yard, and the height of the side fence means whoever does this is hidden from next door's view.

After the devastation of the rosemary, Martin cut it back one lunch time when he was working from home (in business suit, tie and gumboots, I might add). So he came outside, pruned the plant, discreetly dropped some rubber snakes around the garden, did some cheerful whistling, and left. All without setting off the sprinklers.

Bucket Woman watched this from next door.

Next we hired a rubbish skip and cleared up the hard waste pile. We roped in family and friends, and offered to feed them and let them toss their own junk into our skip in exchange for their labour. Dad had a sausage sizzle going, and I was in charge of soup and hot drinks (not in the same mug, that would be unpleasant). The Sprinkler Boys had a rubber snake fight in the front yard.

By the end of the day, we could park a car in the garage, and most of the hard waste pile was in the skip (which was in the driveway). Only the original fence posts remained, because the holes under the fence were STILL there. So Martin and Ade (my BIL) sighed dramatically and put them back.

Because we had people everywhere, we turned off the Robo-sprinklers. Bucket Woman spent most of the day in her front yard, watching. Occasionally someone would smile and wave, and she would disappear inside for a few minutes, then come back out like she was on an invisible string.

At the end of the day, we closed the gates and turned the Robo-Sprinklers back on. Then we listened to the human “bin chickens” going through the skip and stumbling across the Robo-Sprinkler’s sensors. Smug satisfaction doesn’t begin to describe the feeling.

Then Bucket Woman complained to the Council that our garden was full of rubbish, the grass was overgrown, and there were snakes in our garden. (She’s been whingeing about rubbish and grass ever since I moved in, so the snakes gave her something new to complain about.)

Council inspected our garden. The back garden is neatly maintained (Martin even mows patterns into the grass), and the fence posts are neatly laid along the fence. In the front yard, some unnaturally coloured, clearly fake rubber snakes are seen basking. The council officer asked if we’d had trouble with real snakes. Martin said no, but we’d call the snake catcher if we did (Australian reptiles are protected, and you can only remove snakes if you are licensed). That was about it. Council officer left, no infringement notice issued.

Bucket Woman watched Martin and the Council officer standing in the front yard, and not a drop of water on them.

This must have emboldened her, and you can probably guess what happened that evening as we were getting ready for bed.

Me: Did you remember to turn the Robo-Sprinklers back on?

Outside: Sound of Robo-Sprinkler 1 firing on the enemy, with much yelling and even a touch of unladylike language.

Martin: Yes, yes I did.

The Back Story of the Bucket Woman.

1. I first meet Bucket Woman.
2. She gets attacked by my 'dangerous dog' (that meows)
3. She has an encounter with my kitchen scraps
4. The Sprinkler Cult begins
5. How could I forget her first meeting with Robo-Sprinkler?
6. She is rude to my Dad and his partner
7. Who was the original Bucket Woman?

Edited to add: Gratuitous link to make your own Bunnings sausage sizzle at home video.

​

Bucket Woman v our taste in furnishings??? WTF??? Sept 21, 2022

OK, so this is still unfolding, but my head is so full of WTF and I have to try to organise my thoughts somehow.

Today is a public holiday, a National Day of Mourning for the late Her Maj. First thing this morning, Martin found an A4 envelope in the letter box. It was kind of addressed to me, so Martin asked if I wanted to open it, if I wanted him to open it, or if we should chuck the whole thing in the office and open it on Monday.

I shouldn't have opened it. The Bucket Woman has written a long, very long, very detailed letter about how badly furnished our house is, and what kind of patterns and fabrics I should have used that are in keeping with "our heritage".

My curtains - she hates them. The lounge suite - she hates it. The pots of herbs I grow in the kitchen - makes us look like peasants. The kitchen table and chairs - cheap. The bench tops, the carpets, the kitchen tiles, the dining suite, the outdoor furniture ... the list goes on. Even my cats' ceramic bowls! And my bedspread!

But it's not all bad, she's gone to a lot of trouble to find examples of where I can find the kinds of furnishings, carpets etc she thinks I should have. As I said, it's very long, very detailed; it's also very well-researched and completely barking.

We are starting to see the funny side. The lounge suite was Martin's, so of course that's his bad taste. The herbs are mine, so of course I'm the peasant. The carpets, tiles, curtains etc were chosen by a professional, so we're thinking maybe a light tarring and feathering? Or maybe just egging their windows?

So now I am pretty sure the reason she's been looking into our windows was to produce this ... document? Is manifesto too strong a word? Which is a huge relief in some ways, but is also seriously WTF. Well fine, Bucket Woman, new front fence goes up next week, you can criticise THAT as well.

More WTF is this thing about "our heritage". We are not in a heritage-listed area. Our area was sub-divided in the 1950's. My house is a 70's build. Vintage, yes. Antique of the future? Maybe. Heritage? Definitely not.

When I say, "kind of addressed to me", it was addressed to "Mrs Martin Surname", which is kind of me, if Martin and I were married, and I took his surname, and this was still the 1950's.

~The End (for now)~

Reminder: I am not the original poster. Original poster is u/HokeyPokeyGuestList.

These are posted across u/HokeyPokeyGuestList's private page, as well as r/pettyrevenge.