I am not OP. This is a repost sub.

This has been posted here over 6 months ago, thus the repost flair.

The original was posted on r/MaliciousCompliance 8 months ago.

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Supervisor asks student with cancer to turn on their camera during a virtual meeting, and you won’t BELIEVE what happens next /s

Clickbaity article titles aside, it’s a long one. It happened two days ago and I’m still giddy. Enjoy!

All the below names are pseudonyms.

There are two important background things to know for the story:

1.) I was diagnosed with a rare ovarian cancer at the beginning of this year (I had surgery and some chemo and am mostly recovered now). I still have to go in for frequent testing and occasional monitoring. I am a private person to the extent that I have dated people for years without telling my parents, so you best believe random coworkers and bosses are unaware of my medical history.

2.) I attend a university that has an ambassador program. Basically if you have a high enough GPA you are able to interview for the program and if you get in they pay for your tuition during the time you are an ambassador. In exchange you work 5 hours a week and work graduation/other events. I am one of these ambassadors. This is my story. Law and Order sound effect

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My supervisor for the ambassador program, Ms. M, has spent the majority of our time together belittling me. As I sit here about to type about her, I find myself already exasperated thinking about reliving some of the details, so I will be short and sweet for both your sake and mine: she follows every rule to the letter and leaves no room for collaboration or discussion.

As an example, we use Microsoft teams for communication, and she has us clock in and out in a group of 20 people by saying “I’m here” and “I’m leaving.” So every day you have to scroll through dozens of messages to find anything of import and listen to notification sounds every time someone so much as takes a lunch break. I suggested using the time clock function on teams and even offered to set it up for us, and was told that I was “deliberately undermining her position.”

Another quick example is her vehemence when I told her I didn’t have any social media (to advertise the college). She was certain I was lying and went so far as to ask the other ambassadors to try and “find” me.

They didn’t. There’s nothing to find. Crazy concept.

I’ve challenged her at a couple of junctures, but ultimately realized I was fighting a losing battle and I’d be better off keeping my head down. (laughs in dramatic irony)

Fast forward to four days ago (Friday): there’s a mandatory virtual event in three days (Monday) where the dean of the college would talk to the ambassadors, as well as live stream the event to the college’s website and YouTube page.

Ms. M sent out a message that I will copy and paste here (because the formatting is so dramatic that it makes me chuckle). “Students MUST have their cameras ON and phones OFF. Repeat!! Phones OFF. Cameras ON.” (Like c’mon lady, bold, caps, or italics. Your email almost gave me a stroke)

I follow up the same day: “Ms. M, unfortunately I will be at a doctor’s appointment at this time and will be unable to turn my camera on during the event.”

No response.

I send another email to follow up. No response.

The day of the event rolls around. I direct message her through Microsoft teams ten minutes before. I see that she’s seen the message with a read receipt. Nothing.

Okay, video chat starts and several students join the session with their cameras on. Then the dean. He gets halfway through introducing himself and Ms. M interrupts him as he takes a brief pause and says “excuse me, could we please have ALL of the students turn their cameras on.”

I say nothing but put a quick message I already had typed in anticipation in the group chat “Ms. M I have a private situation that bars me from turning on my camera, I have contacted you individually.”

Not but a few seconds after I send it, I get called out by name, and I respond audibly, “Ms. M I cannot turn on my camera at this time.” and she responds “expectations were clear and you were told multiple times about this; every other student here managed to do it and I expect the same out of you.”

Now, one of the cool things about having cancer is you become very familiar with the hospital staff, and if you’re lucky, they’re fun to talk to. During COVID my nurses were my tethers to sanity because no one could visit me while I had inpatient infusions. So I told one of my nurses, Amy, about this situation beforehand. She joked that if I was told to turn my camera on, I should really play up my illness. In any other situation I would’ve been entirely opposed, but sweet revenge was in sight (when I replay it in my head I imagine that anime fist-clenching thing when the protagonist resolves to get revenge). I set my laptop back a bit further from myself on my legs so you could see the entirety of me in my hospital regalia.

Teams will display the person currently talking as the largest image in chat. Everyone had their audio off except me, the dean, and Ms. M, so when I turned my camera on I was displayed as the EKG loudly thrummed away (on max volume, thanks to Amy).

Silence.

Me: “I asked Ms. M through email and teams if I could opt out of having my camera on, but she insisted.”

I waited a beat to see if anyone would say anything and then continued with my special vocal blend of melodramatic gratitude and illness-laden shakiness: “Virtual engagement is so important for this new era of learning. I can see why having the camera on is important, though I was hoping I might be granted an exception.”

Dean: “Ms. R, you are more than welcome to turn your camera off, I am so sorry for the misunderstanding.”

Me: “thank you so much for making a special exception for me. It’s been a difficult week but I feel grateful to be here.”

Then, two people leave the call. One was Ms. M and the other was Anthony, who is Ms. M’s boss! I didn’t know he’d be there! Haven’t heard from either of them yet but I’m awaiting a follow up with anticipation.

I’m typing this from the hospital and feeling gratitude for a lot of things (‘tis the season, after all). I am here. I am alive. And above all, this stupid disease won’t stop me from putting a bully in their goddamned place.

TL;DR I am recovering from cancer and had to go in to be monitored for a separate but related condition. A supervisor for a school program insisted I turn on my camera for a virtual event that was live-streamed and when I turned my camera on, could see I was very much hospitalized. Hilarity ensues cue sitcom music

Update (this will not contain the juicy follow-up, just some clarifications):

So do you guys want an update? No matter how hard I try, I just can’t tell…

A couple of clarifications:

-I don’t, at this time, want to sue her. I want her to be better.

-I am not in the “thick” of cancer right now. I’m definitely better than the beginning of this year, though I appreciate the warm wishes.

-I was going to ask the university to take down the video on the university website and YouTube, but when I went to check it had already been removed. I already saved a copy of it per the advice of a colleague.

Reading through these comments has been the highlight of my week. I’ve been reading them in the way you’d expect an anthropologist because of the myriad of reactions. Almost all of them have been loving and supportive. About 6% of them are just downright weird.

Some of my favorites:

1.) a colorful variety of people threatening to assault or kill me.

2.) people telling me how they’ve either a.) had cancer or b.) been to college.. and it was NOTHING LIKE THAT and I am DEAD WRONG. Tsk tsk, to me.

3.) the guy who asked me for nudes. I can’t imagine what went through his head.. did he get to the second line and see the word “ovarian” and think “you know who sometimes has ovaries? Women. Good enough for me.”

I also didn’t expect so many people to compliment my writing. I’ve been procrastinating finishing up a DnD one-off campaign, and this has really boosted my motivation.

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The update was posted 7 months ago.

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Cancer, Cameras, and Compliance Part 2: Electric Boogaloo (an update to: Supervisor asks student with cancer to turn on their camera during a virtual meeting, and you won’t BELIEVE what happens next /s)

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Oh hi, I didn't see you there.

In lieu of saying "Wow this blew up" regarding my initial post, I'm going to instead refer you to my favorite wikipedia page because I find it absurd and wonderful.

Please forgive my delay in updating you all. Two reasons for that:

1.) In the States we celebrated Thanksgiving the same week of this occurrence, causing the college's response to be delayed.

2.) I was scared, y'all. You guys seem like my kind of people, but holy smokes were there a lot of "Update us NOW" messages. I was worried if I didn't update you saying her fields were burned, her home pillaged, and her family banished that you'd all tell me I was WEAK and SPINELESS (spoilers: I am).

The short version:

Ms. M was fired.

The long version:

(11/23) - I am discharged from the hospital. I file a formal complaint to the college regarding the incident and I ask for the videos to be removed from any public platform. From what I can tell at the time, this has already happened, but I wanted it to be clear that I did not consent to it being publicized any further.

(11/24) - (11/29) - The school is on break for Thanksgiving. No ambassador program and no messages from the school. Despite this, about 16 students were present for the meeting, saw everything transpire, and I receive Teams DMs from about half of them sending me warm wishes and asking if there is anything they can do to help.

(12/1) - The first day back to the program since our fun little dean meeting. I scroll through the previous messages in the chat and notice Ms. M has an "Out of Office" status by her name (as opposed to "Away" or "Online" etc). As soon as I clock in (with a jovial, virtual "I'm here") I receive a message from Anthony, who you may recall is Ms. M's boss, asking if I have a moment to speak. I do. I might add he pointedly offers twice to let me choose the medium which we communicate, whether that be via video chat, audio, or over messages.

What follows is a video call with myself, him, and one unknown person whom I suspect was a lawyer. I was met with vague half-apologies and follow up questions that can best be described as litmus tests to see just how fucked they were. I was also a bit vague out of a smidge of morbid curiosity. But then it occurs to me that this is neither Anthony's nor the college's direct fault. So I ask if I can voice some concerns I have with the ambassador program. I have already created a list at this point of the issues I'd like to bring up. He and I proceed to have a very cordial conversation about small things (the way we clock in and out) and bigger ones (the way university staff speaks to the students they employ with in indignity and disrespect).

I mention how I am older than the average ambassador, that I've had a couple of Real Adult™ jobs which have spoiled me in the sense that I feel listened to and valued on their teams, and how the ambassador program has noticeably not done this. I also mention how for ambassadors unlike me, who haven't had a job prior, this sets a poor example for how they should expect to be treated.

He listens to me and actively takes notes. He asks if I can voice my concerns to some board members and I say absolutely.

(12/7) - I clock in and then notice a surprising lack of messages in the general chat. I then see a message sent to the ambassadors and admissions staff the previous day: "Staff will now clock in using the Time Clock function. Instructions provided in the attached video." I think to myself that I've never been more pleased at a message regarding clocking in in my life and the actual words "wait until reddit hears about this" pops into my head, which makes me cringe at myself.

(12/9) - I clock in and hype myself up to speak with the board during this shift. It might be worth noting I'm not a great improvisor, but given time to prepare I can generally get my point across eloquently. I speak with them for an hour and ten minutes, and to save you some time I will just give you a few main points:

-There are many reasons a student may not be able to turn on a camera such as their income, mental health, or comfort with their current environment, and demanding they do is directly discriminatory against those students.

-A program that expects students to actively advertise and bolster the college should foster and environment worthy of such praise.

-Regardless of anything that transpired, I was treated and spoken to like I was not only incapable, but malicious. It should not have taken my having literal cancer for this to be noticed and addressed on the team (as opposed to the widely known metaphorical cancer).

The dean stays after to talk with me. Asks how I'm feeling, how was my vacation, how are finals, etc, small talk, etc. I transition us to Ms. M and ask how she is, as we haven't seen her for a little over a week now. He tells me she has been "offered an alternative position" and would no longer be working in the university.

Many of you predicted this already, but I was surprised I didn't really get much of an apology from anyone. Maybe they're worried that would be seen as accepting blame when they'd rather just amputate the infection and hope for the best.

I wish I had more spiciness for you all but as of now that's all I have! The outpouring of support has been lovely. Thank you for the warm wishes and tales of sweet revenge you've all been flooding me with. May we all live to see the end of cancer and ass-holic bosses!

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I AM NOT OP. This is a repost sub.

FUCK CANCER! F. U. C. K. CANCER!