I AM NOT OP. This is a repost sub.

The original was posed in March 2022.

(Just reposted because of error in title. All of these updates took place in the original post as edits, but clearly over time. Let me know if this post doesn’t belong and I will remove)

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Looks like I'm an undercover agent/spy...

During this week, I met with a friend of mine at a random park. We exchanged some absolutely benign, law-abiding documents in a pair of manila envelopes, and apparently, some 9th graders of mine were in the park and took pictures of us, which they then shared with the rest of their groups.

The thing is, my friend has a few quirks about him - he avoids eye contact when talking to people, loves wearing fedora hats and long trench coats, things like that... And we were sitting on opposite ends of a bench, so the whole scene actually looked like a CIA/FBI exchange from a Hollywood movie.

On Friday, I have class as usual - until I realise my students are awfully quiet and glancing weirdly at me. I ask what this is about, and one of my teens (raised in the US, Virginia to be exact) goes, "Miss, we know you're CIA - but don't worry, we'll keep the secret."

Woah, woah, what? What on earth are they talking about?

They show me the pictures they took and start ticking off reasons I must be CIA or a spy:

• I seldom talk about my personal life or my family - they know some of my hobbies, but they don't know where I live, if I'm married, where I was raised or even where I was born. They know my grandfather was in the Army, but that's about it.

• My "brother" (not blood-related, but teens never got the hint), who's also a teacher at the school, has shared with them he was a SOCS before becoming a teacher - of course, it makes sense that I was in the military too, or had some akin training.

• I speak several languages - throughout the term, they've realised I speak fluent Spanish and English, can hold my ground in German, Russian and French, and have some knowledge of other languages as well.

• I know a lot about international laws/treaties and universal history, even though I'm "just" an ESL teacher - especially in MUN classes, I throw in a bit of extra info about NATO and other alliances, for example.

• I know a lot about guns and martial arts - the gun issue turned up when we were discussing rifles and pistols after a WW2-themed class, gave them some inside info that I got from my grandpa... And one student attends the same gym I do, so he knows my bro and I give Krav Maga/self-defence classes after school.

• I use a lot of military/police lingo/jargon in class - just for kicks and because I'm eccentric, I love using IROPA and police codes in class... You know, naming teams "Alpha", "Bravo", "Charlie", etc., telling my teens, "10-3, everyone!" when I want them to be quiet, or saying, "So-And-So is AWOL, huh?" when someone's absent, collectively calling them "my platoon" and going "Ten-hut!" when I want their attention, stuff like that...

• I'm stealthy and always hyperaware of my surroundings - as in, I can "furtively" come behind them and surprise them with their hands in the cookie jar, it's like I have eyes on the back of my head... Or so they think; it's all just a by-product of my PTSD!

I roared with laughter and told them I'm most definitely not a spy or a CIA agent, and three teens jumped, "See?! We told you she'd do that! CIA can't tell other people that they're CIA, they'll always deny it!!"

I kept laughing and repeating I'm just an eccentric teacher, but they just rolled their eyes and went, "Yeah, right, Miss..."

So, yup - my 9th graders are convinced I'm an undercover CIA agent or a spy 🤣🤣🤣

UPDATE 1: I decided I'm going to play along and make this a nice April Fool's prep! Got my principal and 2 teachers on board with the plan - students know I'm close to those 2 coworkers, and they already asked them today if they ever saw me doing anything "weird"... Teacher 1 told them we go out together now and then, but I often excuse myself to pick up phone calls and then leave without an explanation; Teacher 2 told them he once saw me getting into this huge black van... Principal and I are still drawing up ideas, but I'll welcome any others you guys might have! \Maniacal* laugh\*

UPDATE 2: I've spent this week leaving my laptop "accidentally" on while running Command Prompt, diagnostics and stuff (never thought I'd ever use the "dir", "tree" or "ipconfig" commands like this!), along with .bat files.

For people who actually know what the Hell these commands do (not me) and what a batch file is (I just found out), it's nothing out of the ordinary... But for the untrained eye, it looks pretty much like you're hacking something.

Guess what my Gen Z and Alpha students thought about it? LOL!

I've been "cautious" about it, however: I sometimes leave the laptop in the teacher's room, as per usual, and then send students to fetch whatever from the room, as I've always done until now... Only now they return, quietly as mice, and give me strange looks every so often.

We also have Mac computers in our classrooms, so I learnt how to hide the address bar and tabs on Chrome, use websites like Hacker Typer and Pranx, and just play around a bit as students enter the classroom - some of them have "spotted" me a few times or lean in to see what I'm doing before I quip, "May I help you with something?" and they just blanch and say "Nope! Nothing!".

Principal also randomly calls me to his office just as recess is about to end and hands me random envelopes as students walk by (his office has some huge windows). When students "catch" us, he gets all nervous and shoos them away - he's a damn good actor, I must give him that!

And yup, I have even fewer behavioural issues lately (can't say I had that many this term, though), there's increased murmuring in the hallways about how I'm definitely an analyst or something, and my students are giving me fewer and fewer excuses not to turn in assignments or whatever... This makes me wonder if I actually want to end this charade on April Fool's, LMFAO!

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I AM NOT OP. This is a repost.