I am not the original poster. This is a repost.

Originally posted by u/couponcarl 7 years ago on r/relationships.

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My [27m] girlfriend [26f] is an Extreme Couponer and it's driving me up the wall. Help! [Sept 26 2014]

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2hizzh/my_27m_girlfriend_26f_is_an_extreme_couponer_and/

I don't even know how to begin describing my problem so I'll give a little backstory. My girlfriend Jodie and I met in college, and we got serious so we moved in together after graduation. I really love her, she's smart and funny and beautiful and practical. She had a tough time growing up because her family was living below the poverty line, so she's extremely frugal and careful with her money. This is a blessing for me because my ex-girlfriend (the one before her) spent money like it was going to rot. Jodie takes care of our finances and keeps me up to date on what's going on and how we're doing.

I feel stupid for even 'complaining' about this because my buddies say Jodie is a great girl with a sensible head on her shoulders, while they're having horrible fights or relationship problems with their own girlfriends that involve cheating, finances, and what have you. I don't have that problem with Jodie. In fact, she is so far the opposite way because she excessively clips coupons.

I think her mom used to do it when she was a kid, and now Jodie has turned it into an art form. She spends a few hours a day sorting out her coupons, or looking online for them. She makes her co-workers mad by hogging the printer sometimes. Every weekend, she will make me go with her and we'll get a truckload of toothpaste or toilet paper or whatever is on sale. Our apartment looks like a Costco supply warehouse because she just stocks up like crazy. It's gotten so bad that some cashiers will quickly close their till when they see Jodie heading for the checkout with a gleam in her eye. God knows I love Jodie, but she's on a mission when she goes shopping with coupons and I'm little more than her sidekick Trolley Boy.

I admit it does save both of us a lot of money, and the few times I brought it up, Jodie says she's doing this for our future. The money saved on groceries goes into a down payment for our future house, she says. Never mind that the bathroom is stuffed floor to ceiling with tampons, or that I go to sleep surrounded by boxes of Lucky Charms. I've tried to put up with it as long as I could, but it was my birthday a few days ago, and I had mentioned I needed to top up my shaving cream, and Jodie went and got me 42 cans (it was free with coupons). She was puzzled when I was less than thrilled and said that she had been 'saving' them for this occasion. I tried telling her that I would have much preferred doing something together, or even just having her make dinner for both of us, but she got upset I didn't appreciate her 'gift' and we didn't talk for a while.

I don't know what to do and when I see the show Extreme Couponers on TLC and see the long-suffering husbands on there with the thousand-yard stare, I'm always afraid that would be me one day and eventually I will be found dead in our apartment crushed under a mountain of cat food. My family and buddies are saying I'm making too big a deal out of nothing and that I should be grateful Jodie is good with money, but hot damn I just want to go to the store sometimes and not have the cashiers fleeing every time I head towards the counter. How do I approach the topic with Jodie?

TL;DR; My girlfriend is the couponing queen and her life revolves around it. I'm sick of the lifestyle and feeling like we're stocking up for the Apocalypse. Please help me with a way to tell her we don't need 26 bottles of Tide in one sitting.

Edit: Thanks for the replies everyone, there is a lot of useful advice for me to look through and consider. Mostly I'm on board with donating half of our haul so at least I can stop walking sideways like a crab to make my way to the bathroom. Then we'll have a good talk soon for a long-term solution. I have to leave for my afternoon shift and won't be able to reply for a long while, but thank you everyone for your input.

Relevant Comments:

• I did think she may have a hoarding disorder, but I really don't know how to tell her without hurting her. We do use the items she gets us, she won't just get items for the sake of getting them, "because she can". So it's really hard for me to see if there really is a problem with her, or I'm just frustrated because I deal with this everyday.
• I think you're right in the sense that I can't mention the couponing, her defenses go up every time I do so because we've fought about it quite a bit. Mainly her point is that I don't appreciate all the time and effort she puts in to save us money. I do appreciate her frugality, but I think this is going overboard.
• Someone else suggested that we donate some of our haul (that doesn't have a fast-approaching expiry date, of course) to shelters or charities in the area, so I'm going to do a bit of Googling, then talk to her about it.
• Once I did put my foot down and refuse to go to the store with her. But when I popped in on my own, our regular cashier (one of the nicer ones who would often ring us up) told me that Jodie was really struggling on the day I wasn't there and I felt so guilty that I agreed to go along for the next trip. Now I see that I'm just helping to enable her but I can't bear to see her struggling. But I understand now that I'll have to be assertive if I want to help her.

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[UPDATE] My [27m] girlfriend [26f] is an Extreme Couponer and it's driving me up the wall. Help! [Dec 16 2014]

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2phoyt/update_my_27m_girlfriend_26f_is_an_extreme/

Hey guys! Thanks so much for all the comments and useful advice I got. As for the PMs I got, they ranged from people getting pissed off with Jodie for hogging the printer to someone asking me to pass on any unwanted coupons or freebies I might have.

Anyway, I thought I'd pop in and give you guys an update. I made some phone calls, brushed up my Google-fu and made a list of charities that we could donate some of our haul to. Then I sat down with Jodie and explained to her that while I really appreciate her efforts at being frugal, we really need our living space back. She was quiet for a while, then asked me if the 42 cans of shaving cream she had gotten for my birthday were making me feel like this. I explained that they were the tipping point, and that our stockpiling had always bothered me on some level (I called it 'The Haul' like a bad Miley Cyrus song).

We talked for quite a bit, and I suggested the charity donations, passing her the list. At first she was all for the idea and agreed to give 70% of The Haul to charity, but deep down I suspected it wasn't going to be as easy as all that. We set aside a weekend, and some friends came over to help move the stuff while another buddy of mine came by with his truck so we could make the rounds at the charities. To be honest, this was the first time our friends have been inside our apartment. The 'WTF' looks on our friends' faces pretty much confirmed that our lives were a living episode of 'Hoarders'.

Unfortunately, as Jodie witnessed The Haul being actually physically taken away, she got an anxiety attack at the thought of losing the security of her stockpile, and we stopped to calm her down. I hugged her and told her I was so proud of her for all the stuff she's giving away to charity, and after a long while, she seemed a bit better. We carried on with the donations as planned, and another buddy of mine is going to help me with the tax write-off. We talked about this and I'm pretty sure Jodie is more addicted to the rush of getting a good deal and saving money, because she is getting better at letting go of her stockpile. I'm actually really proud of her - just from couponing, she's saved about $15K over two years for our house fund!

I did take pictures of The Haul because I thought you guys might want to see what I was talking about in my last post, but Jodie was utterly embarrassed and pleaded with me not to post anything even though I had removed any identifiers. So I'm going to respect her wishes and not post pictures (even though they're a doozy). But I really want to thank you all for your advice, tips and help (and one bro who offered to buy my shaving cream). Now that Christmas is coming up, Jodie is partnering with a shelter and preparing to go Couponing again for stuff they need specifically. We're also going to get nice Christmas gifts for all the long-suffering cashiers who didn't mind checking out all our shopping hauls in the past, as a thank-you, as well as our friends who helped with the donation drive. They deserve it!

Hope you guys have a great Christmas and happy holidays!

TL;DR: My coupon queen girlfriend agreed to give up most of her stockpile, now she only uses her powers for good.

Relevant Comments:

• I have to admit that her panic attack really worried me, but on my previous post I remembered many Redditors had mentioned that they had family members/friends who grew up in poverty too and became anxious if the house wasn't stocked with food/necessities. I figured Jodie might have such a reaction and I wasn't wrong, but she is dealing with it much better now. I'm so proud of her!
• I was really fortunate that Jodie went with the idea of donating almost everything! I mean, she has donated in the past, but not on this scale before. This one charity knew we were a-comin' but they must have thought I was exaggerating the size of the pile because their jaws dropped when we arrived with mini mountains of goods!
• The good thing is that Jodie got her friends to help out too so now they're like the Justice League, but with coupons. Here's hoping it all goes to help out some folks during the holidays! Jodie grew up in poverty so she more than understands it all.

Reminder: I am not the original poster. This is a repost.

Originally posted by u/couponcarl 7 years ago on r/relationships.